


Bloodstained Camellia

by Hajinnie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Amnesia, Angst, Blood Magic, Drama & Romance, Enemies to Lovers, Flowers, Forced Relationship, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Magic, Mild Blood, Minor Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Non-Graphic Violence, One-Sided Relationship, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Secret Identity, Sorcerers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-02-16 02:46:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 33,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18682558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hajinnie/pseuds/Hajinnie
Summary: Chanyeol, a sorcerer, decides to use forbidden magic to survive in a world where magic is dying. Through dubious means, he “marries” Kyungsoo, another sorcerer. Chanyeol is just using Kyungsoo as his personal blood bank; but his plan backfires when he begins to fall in love with Kyungsoo and contracts the Hanahaki disease as a result of his unrequited love and unexpected feelings.





	1. Carnation (Purple)

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt Petal:** 264
> 
>  **Author's Note:** Dear, prompter. I'm not sure if this is what you envisioned since I took the liberty to add more to the prompt but I was sure to put it in the angst and fluff as you requested. I hope you and everyone else who reads this will enjoy reading it ^^
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> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/hajinnie)  
> [CC](https://curiouscat.me/hajinnie)

 

Chanyeol had lived for hundreds of years and had witnessed thousands of seasons pass by him. He did remember being born during the Joseon dynasty sometime in the early 18th century in a small town that was now a major hub city in the region.

Although technically human, Chanyeol was one of the rare humans who were born with magical affinities and could go on to become wizards, witches or sorcerers depending on which field of magic they decided to pursue. Collectively, they were known as magicians. Among ten thousand humans, at least one would have the magical affinity and Chanyeol was one of them.

 

The spring of 1828 was the most memorable for him, although in the ways he didn’t wish it to be. It was the same time when the Joseon dynasty began to outlaw magic and those who practiced it.

Elsewhere around the world, other countries were also following suit, whatnot with tensions and discrimination against magical folk being higher than it ever was.

Most people did not understand magic and although magical practitioners often used their powers to aid others, there were also those who abused their powers and invoked fear in the eyes of non-magical practitioners. This invoked fear of magicians among the humans who viewed them as “different, “strange” and “dangerous”.

 

 

Initially, magical practitioners like Chanyeol were chased out of their country and stripped of their citizenship whereby they became stateless. Then, as humans made advancement in weaponry and technology to go up against magic practitioners, war and eventually genocide was launched against them.

The genocide was practiced by many countries and nations throughout the world. It was declared on a spring day when the flowers were in full bloom. It was made lawful by governments to publicly drag out a magician from their own homes and slaughter them on the streets in front of everyone else, magician and non-magician alike.

 

Chanyeol remembered that day vividly, when he had to witness his fellow magicians slaughtered and how their blood splattered on the petals of the flowers that were in full bloom.

On top of that, he could never forget the stench that was the smell of burning hair which reeked in the air for weeks to come, which had came from two different sources. Chanyeol didn’t know which was grimmer; the fact that the smell was coming from the burning dead bodies or the natural repulsive scent that came along with the dark magic from a certain magician, showing that even the frowned upon dark magicians were joining in on the fight to protect the other magicians who would usually scorn them.

 

 

 

By the end of the 19th century, only less than half of the initial number of magical practitioners was still alive. Magic was outlawed almost everywhere around the world.

During the war against magicians, there existed two camps of them; those who chose to hide out from the war against them and those who went out to resist it. Chanyeol was part of the former.

 

Chanyeol had survived the genocide by hiding in deep forests and living near mountains no human would ever attempt to reach.

 

 

Despite living a reclusive life in the deepest forests with harsh landscapes, Chanyeol still caught wind of a powerful magician known as “Camellia” because of the flower’s symbol they chose to identify with. Camellia was said to be a prominent magician in the resistance of their efforts to seek justice.

Some debated if Camellia actually existed as an individual, whether it was a role taken on by several magicians or whether it was just a persona created by the magicians in their fight against the humans. The one thing that was known was that Camellia’s magic had a rather distinctive smell akin to that of burning hair, leading some to believe that they were a dark magician because dark magic tended to have an accompanying horrid smell behind.

 

In the early 20th century, humans turned their attention to fighting wars against each other instead of against magical practitioners. The genocide against magicians was never declared officially over. It was simply forgotten and sidelined so humans could fight other humans instead.

The world wars were actually a time of peace for the magical folk because they were not being hunted by humans at the time.

 

 

 

After the Second World War, society had forgotten much about magical folks. By then, an entire generation of humans- who never seen magic or those who practiced it- had been born and grown into adults to bear children of a new generation.

Historical records on magic and the existence of magicians had been destroyed during the genocide. Now, they were largely forgotten and had nothing to prove that they really existed.

 

Although magicians were no longer persecuted and the ban on magic was lifted, magicians were basically non-existent and thought to be mere tales.

Those who still had magical powers like Chanyeol continued to live in hiding and young children who were born with magical affinity were not aware of their powers to know what it was, least to even use it.

Camellia wasn’t heard of again and some even believed that they had died, caught in the crossfire of the war of humans against humans. But still, the camellia flower remained as a symbol of remembrance among magicians against the horrors they had to live through.

 

 

 

Towards the end of the 20th century, magic was considered an urban legend or fantasy. There were those who believed it and those who disapproved it in favor of science and technology.

 

Like the few magicians left, Chanyeol still remained, unbeaten by the passage of time and the rough days he had been through.

Although it was peaceful for the magicians now, over time, Chanyeol had seen his own fellow magicians fall in love with regular folk or other magicians alike, whom they could not be with sometimes.

After the years of hiding and persecution, they too sought a normal life, which was almost impossible because of their differences and the need to keep magic a secret. There was still a heavy and lingering stigma and fear of being involved with a magical practitioner.

 

Although magicians were technically immortal, they were not invincible and unrequited love for them was very dangerous, as it meant contracting the Hanahaki disease which had no cure unless their feelings were returned.

First, it would be petals and then as the disease progressed, the victim would eventually be coughing up entire flowers. Then, they would die when the flowers grew roots deep enough in their lungs, as the victim would die painfully and slowly while choking on their own blood and the flowers.

The Hanahaki disease only affected magicians and somehow, it was like a curse to an already persecuted group of people like them. It wasn’t a surprise that magicians began to hide away from the rest of the world even more.

 

 

 

After burying one too many of his fellow magicians and seeing their numbers dwindle down by the passing day, Chanyeol decided that he had enough of it.

In the early 2000s, Chanyeol moved to a small homestead in the German countryside, where he lived alone and continued to practice his magic in secret, choosing to interact with as little people as possible.

 

By day, he ran an antique shop in downtown Seoul, which was actually a cover for his magic business where he would offer any of his services to those that were interested. Chanyeol was delighted to be able to return to his home country, although they had once followed policies to disown and kill magicians like him.

By night, he would travel back to his home in the German countryside with a magical door that could transport him between the places. There, it would still be daytime while it was already night in Seoul.

In both the shop in Seoul and his home in Germany, Chanyeol kept two walls clocks each; one to tell the time in Seoul and another to tell the time in Germany.

Because of this schedule, Chanyeol hardly if ever slept, using his magic to keep him going past what his body was capable of.  

 

 

 

Chanyeol’s clients were mostly superstitious or spiritual people who still believed in magic and a few other magicians themselves who preferred if he did the job for them.

Because Chanyeol was a sorcerer, he was already meddling with the blacker side of the magic spectrum by nature, and most wizards and witches turned to him if they needed to. Often, these other magicians traveled far from different countries just to enlist his help.

His relationship with them was strictly professional and for work-related purposes only. After all the hurt and terror he had been through, Chanyeol wasn’t really intent on forming personal relationships with anyone anymore.

 

Business wasn’t exactly good. In a busy week, he’d get twelve people at most coming into his shop. And out of those twelve people, more than half of them were there to sell him some vase they found in their deceased grandmother’s attic or whatnot. Hardly anyone came for his magical services. That was if they could even believe in the existence of magic.

There was hardly anyone else who believed in magic and not many witches or wizards wanted to be affiliated with a sorcerer either because they were particularly known for being most likely to stray to the darker side of magic.

 

 

With no room to be picky, Chanyeol took almost any job he could get. Although he could be without any money and rely on just magic, he still felt the need to blend in with society and have a job like everyone else too, hence the antique shop front he ran.

Somehow, it also gave him a purpose and some reasons to feel accomplished with his mundane life, even on a small scale.

 

 

 

On one occasion, Chanyeol was hired by some witch to defeat Gremory, a dark wizard, who was practicing necromancy, a field of magic that was frown upon and which involved resurrecting the dead.

Chanyeol took up the job, only to discover that Gremory was way more powerful than he was, especially with his legion of the undead.

Chanyeol lost the duel and had to flee with his tails between his legs, also becoming heavily injured because of it.

He was less worried about not receiving the payment for the completed task and more about the fact that he wasn’t as strong and capable as he thought he was.

 

 

 

In the aftermath of his defeat to Gremory, Chanyeol went through his old sorcery books again and found the outlawed practice of blood magic, which was actually illegal to use because of its potency. Although the general public didn’t believe in magic anymore and thus, there was no more enforcement against using it.

The few remaining sorcerers did frown upon its use and even among them; it was considered a taboo as it was basically selling one’s soul to the devil in exchange for magical prowess’s.

 

Sorcerers were the only magicians capable of blood magic because their magic revolved around summoning, and unlike wizards and witches who drew their powers from nature and their surroundings, sorcerers expended their own spiritual energy to conjure magic.

Blood magic allowed a sorcerer access to a wide variety of summons which usually involved dangerous creatures thought to come from Hell itself. Blood magic also allowed a sorcerer to use powerful lethal spells that were especially for killing and destruction.

It was said that the moment the first drop of blood was given in exchange to use blood magic; the said sorcerer would be condemning their soul for all of eternity.

 

 

Although Chanyeol wouldn’t admit it, he was still very affected by his past trauma of being banished from his home country and later having almost the entire human race try to kill him.

Thus, Chanyeol believed that he if practiced blood magic, he would be strong enough to protect himself from any additional dangers that might come his way, especially this particular dark wizard he wasn’t able to defeat, whom Chanyeol feared would come after him again one day.

 

But Chanyeol didn’t want to be the one whose soul would be dragged to hell and tormented for eternity in exchange for practicing blood magic. He believed he had suffered enough while being alive and that he shouldn’t need to suffer more even after he was dead.

Chanyeol found a loophole that had been exploited by a few in the past and planned to use the blood of another sorcerer for the blood magic, although he would be the one to draw the powers from it.

 

 

 

 

Chanyeol had his eyes set on Kyungsoo, an assumedly younger sorcerer who worked in a flower shop just a few blocks down from Chanyeol’s antique shop.

All Kyungsoo used his magic for, was to summon nymphs and plant spirits to make his flowers bloom and grew healthily. The flower shop was owned by a human who was unaware of Kyungsoo’s magical powers and thought that Kyungsoo was just merely good with flowers.

It certainly did help the business to flourish, exponentially greater than what Chanyeol’s business was doing. In the eyes of the regular folk, Kyungsoo just appeared to be a regular florist and gardener with a gift for his occupation.

The strong scent of the flowers also helped to mask the natural scent that came from Kyungsoo’s magic, making it the perfect occupation for him too.

 

                                                                                   

Kyungsoo was aware of Chanyeol being a sorcerer too, and sometimes he’d wave and smile at Chanyeol when the latter passed by his shop.

Sometimes, Kyungsoo would try to strike up a conversation but Chanyeol never stayed long enough to say more than a few sentences before removing himself from the encounter.

Kyungsoo could tell Chanyeol was keeping his distance and Kyungsoo respected that.

 

Occasionally, Chanyeol would receive flowers sent to his shop as a gift from Kyungsoo. The flowers were arranged intricately and they were the same ones every time; red camellias, which were a favorite among magicians due to it being a symbol of their freedom and resistance from older times.

The red camellias never survived long enough under Chanyeol’s care and he’d throw them out in the trash when they wilted after a few days. Chanyeol didn’t care for flowers and he never fancied them either, because it only served to remind him of how many of his fellow magicians he had buried after dying from Hanahaki.

 

Chanyeol wasn’t sure but it seemed like Kyungsoo was too young, by magician standards, to have lived through the genocide, and was born in already relatively peaceful times for magic practitioners.

It was the only way Chanyeol could explain why Kyungsoo was always so positive, happy and outgoing.  Chanyeol didn’t understand how a magician who had lived through the genocide could be so cheerful and unbothered without being bitter about the past.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Chanyeol had planned it for a while and thought up of a way to use Kyungsoo as his personal “blood bank” to use for the blood magic.

In older times it would have been illegal but they were literally the only two sorcerers left in all of Seoul. There was no one to stop Chanyeol to tell him otherwise or warn him that what he was doing was wrong.

Chanyeol justified it as needing to protect himself against a fast-paced world where magic was dying out, in fear that one day the humans would just finish the job and finally eradicate the world of all magicians.

 

 

In mid-April, in the spring when the flowers were beginning to reach their full bloom, Chanyeol closed his shop up early that evening and waited in the park where he knew Kyungsoo would walk past every day to go home.

Chanyeol had been watching and observing Kyungsoo’s movements and routine since fall of last year and by now, he had it all memorized.

 

It was already dark but the park was adequately lit by the garden lamps at night. The temperature was still a bit cold at night in mid-April and the park was deserted at the time.

The pink blossoms growing on the trees in the park were almost at their full bloom. There was a gentle breeze that blew at times, rustling the branches on the tree, dropping pink petals that fluttered to the ground.

 

 

 

Like Chanyeol had planned, Kyungsoo was walking through the park.  Kyungsoo’s hands were tucked in the pockets of his jacket. He was on the way home after the florist had closed up for the day.

Kyungsoo pushed up his glasses on the bridge of his nose with a finger as he walked with his head lowered and his back slightly hunching over, before putting his hand back into the pocket of the brown jacket he was wearing.

 

Chanyeol had used an invisibility spell to hide as he waited, also using another spell to mask his presence and traces of his magic. It wasn’t easy for an inexperienced magician to be actively using two spells at the same time, but Chanyeol was already considered a trained and seasoned magician for the time.

 

 

 

As Kyungsoo was walking down on the brick walkway between the trees in the park, he stopped to look up at the flowers as another breeze blew and rustled the petals.

Kyungsoo smiled to himself as he watched a petal slowly flutter down and then land on his shoulder. He was smiling but there was something melancholic about it. Kyungsoo closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of the warm breeze on a cool night, blowing on his face.

 

But when Kyungsoo opened his eyes again and looked ahead, what he saw was a colossal and monstrous scorpion, easily the size of a stallion.

Kyungsoo knew this creature well from his studies; it was one of the beasts that a sorcerer could learn to summon. The monstrous scorpion was known for its poison properties, as well as having a venomous bite that could cause its victim to hallucinate before dying a painful death.

Kyungsoo, as a magician, would have been able to sense the magic by its scent but he was unable to do so, due to how well Chanyeol was masking it and the overwhelming smell of the blossoming flowers around him.

Kyungsoo loved the flowers and their smell but now it was actually a hindrance to him, as it prevented him from sensing the magic in the air.

 

 

On the spot, Kyungsoo summoned the elemental spirit, Hix, to help him against the scorpion summon. Hix was a fire spirit that Kyungsoo usually used to heat up and give light to plants during the winter.

Kyungsoo had not fully mastered Hix’s final form yet and had only learned to conjure up the spirit at its medium form.  Kyungsoo was honestly new when it came to summoning friendly spirits. Because it was a friendly spirit too, Hix didn’t really stand a chance against the scorpion spirit whose specialty was in immobilization and killing.

 

Hix in its medium form appeared to be half as tall as Kyungsoo was, with the form of a humanoid spirit that had fire spouting of its head and limbs.

Hix pelted small fireballs towards the scorpion to halt it as the scorpion was baring its stinging pincers and screeching, attempting to get past Hix and towards Kyungsoo.

With Hix’s powers, Kyungsoo created a protective firewall between him and the scorpion that would last as long as Kyungsoo could keep Hix up.

In exchange for the ability to summon and sustain the spirits, sorcerers expended their own spiritual energy for every second the spirit spent in the material world. Expert sorcerers could sustain simultaneous and more powerful summons for longer times.

 

 

Hix continued throwing and pelting small fireballs towards the scorpion, protecting Kyungsoo from it but was injured badly through the process too.

Kyungsoo was very sensitive and receptive to a spirit’s feelings and pain, which was painstakingly fighting on his behalf.

Unable to watch Hix injure itself further, Kyungsoo de-summoned the fire spirit and returned it to the spiritual realm. The fire wall protection that Hix provided for Kyungsoo also vanished when Hix was gone.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo now had to face the scorpion face to face with no barrier between them. Kyungsoo thought of running but he didn’t want anyone else, or an innocent passerby to get injured. So, he knew he had no choice but to deal with it.

Kyungsoo cast a spell on the earth to create a hole in the ground, intending to swallow up the scorpion when it passed above the hole.

 

Chanyeol saw this happening and came out of hiding to quickly cast another spell on the earth that would temporarily block all ground-based spells for a limited time, including his own.

When Kyungsoo witnessed this, he knew instantly knew that another sorcerer was behind this, although he wasn’t aware of that person being Chanyeol.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo chose to focus on the scorpion first, despite sensing another sorcerer’s presence now.

Kyungsoo cast a spell on his arms to strengthen them to be as hard as a rock, before charging head on and grabbing the massive scorpion by its pincers.

Wrestling with the scorpion that was biting away on Kyungsoo’s arms, reinforced by the magic, Kyungsoo gripped hard enough to detach the scorpion’s pincers from its mouth.

 

Kyungsoo would rather not hurt any spirit if he could help it but he was forced to do so at the time. He didn’t mind getting hurt but he would never have peace if someone else was, when he could have done something to prevent it.

The scorpion shrieked, wailing like a banshee when Kyungsoo ripped its pincers off from its mouth.  That was definitely something a regular scorpion wouldn’t be able to do.

Chanyeol de-summoned the scorpion once it was beyond use and before Kyungsoo could see who it was, he was struck from behind by a spell that pierced clean through his chest.

 

 

 

Chanyeol had another summoned lightning spirit nearby that he used to pierce a lightning rod through Kyungsoo, heavily injuring Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo fell to the ground, grabbing his chest where the lightning rod had made a clean entry in and out of him. Kyungsoo was heavily bleeding and breathing was hard too as blood began to fill in his lungs.

 

But Kyungsoo was determined to not die that day, not under the wind and the fluttering pink petals that continued to fall everywhere around him. That would such be a cruel way for him to go.

Kyungsoo could barely get up and run to save himself. He was too weak for any more spells or summons, and his mental state slowly became a hindrance too.

 

Kyungsoo was certain that he didn’t get poisoned by the scorpion summon but yet he began hallucinating that he was surrounded by flowers of all colors in a lush field where they grew prettily and abundantly.

The wind was cool yet warm there in his hallucination. All his friends and family who were long gone and dead were all there smiling, laughing and inviting him to come along with and join them.  They held out their warm hands to him and looked happier than ever, a stark contrast to their cold hands and the horror permanently etched on their faces when Kyungsoo last saw them.

Even in a hallucination, Kyungsoo could feel how tired he was, how he was done with everything and how he just wanted to lie his head down in the bed of flowers and give up because it seemed like the easiest thing to do. Everything leading up to that moment in his hallucination had been so difficult.

Kyungsoo wailed in tears, reaching out his hand to them in the hallucination. Somehow, he knew it wasn’t real but yet he felt like it was. This was what could have been if magicians had been allowed to live and co-exist peacefully alongside humans.

                                                                                           

 

In reality, when Kyungsoo reached out his hand, Chanyeol was the one who caught it. But Kyungsoo was too far gone to realize that now.

Kyungsoo only snapped out of his hallucination for a brief moment to see Chanyeol holding his hand, Chanyeol’s dark hair framing his face and swaying in the wind among the fluttering pink blossoms.

 

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo cried out, still holding hands with Chanyeol, now knowing that Chanyeol was responsible for all of this.

Chanyeol did not say anything in return and instead released Kyungsoo’s hand from his so he could remove Kyungsoo’s glasses from his face. Then, suddenly, Chanyeol stabbed Kyungsoo’s eyes with his fingernails, driving his fingertips into Kyungsoo’s eyeballs and into his brain within his skull as he cast the forbidden spell he had been preparing for.

Kyungsoo screamed out in pain, unable to stop Chanyeol as he continued to bleed out of almost every orifice.

 

Doing so, Chanyeol had stolen Kyungsoo’s memories and implanted fabricated ones into Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was now all for Chanyeol to use and bend at his will. Chanyeol had violated the magician code of ethics but he couldn’t even start caring about it the slightest now.

 

 

 

That night, Kyungsoo disappeared from the human world he had been living and blending in with. He was missed by those who know him, from the owner of the shop to his apartment neighbors to his regular customers and even the delivery boy who made rounds at the florist.

They held a candlelight vigil for Kyungsoo outside the florists, planted missing posters everywhere and continued to look for him without knowing that he was actually alive in a place far away from there.

 

Chanyeol saw this and although he wasn’t fond of Kyungsoo too much, he still thought that it was rather ironic for humans to be holding a memorial and putting efforts into finding a magician, whom they had tried so hard to rid the world of just two centuries ago. If only they knew, Chanyeol wondered.

When some of Kyungsoo’s human friends came by Chanyeol’s shop to hand him flyers in an attempt to look for Kyungsoo, Chanyeol only smiled it off and lied that he’d tell them if he knew anything. He obviously knew things but he was not going to let them know at any cost.

 

 

 

Two of Kyungsoo’s sorcerer friends, Baekhyun and Jongdae, who lived a bit far away but still maintained contact with, heard about Kyungsoo’s disappearance and went all the way to Seoul to investigate.

Kyungsoo wasn’t the type of person to just disappear and abruptly cut contact with people, so they believed that foul play was possibly involved.

Even with their magic, they were not able to find Kyungsoo or any traces that could lead them to answer his disappearance. It was as if some other magician was using specialized magic to cover up their tracks regarding Kyungsoo’s disappearance.

 

In all of South Korea; other than Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, and Jongdae, the only other magician was a kind old witch who was probably thousands of years old, who lived in a small house by the sea where she cared for many stray animals.

It wasn’t hard to put two and two together when Chanyeol was literally the only other sorcerer living within the next few thousand kilometers. Baekhyun and Jongdae suspected Chanyeol but they had no evidence or proof to back their theory up.

Chanyeol had foreseen Baekhyun and Jongdae, Kyungsoo’s two closest friends, coming after him. Therefore, he had taken the necessary precautions and made sure that they would not be able to trace Kyungsoo back to him, no matter how much they suspected him.

 

 

 

**

 

 

Kyungsoo was asleep for two months as he recovered, while his eyes healed and the new memories implanted in him took their time to form inside his mind.

While Kyungsoo was asleep in the upstairs bedroom of Chanyeol’s cottage in the German countryside, Chanyeol had been drawing small amounts of blood from Kyungsoo’s fingertip on a weekly basis.

It also occurred to Chanyeol that it was alright if Kyungsoo were to remain in a comatose state forever. He didn’t care and it would actually make things a whole lot easier for him.

 

 

But the time did come for Kyungsoo to wake up, and when he did, spring was over and it was already summer.

Chanyeol had just come into Kyungsoo’s room to check up on the latter which he did regularly when he saw Kyungsoo lying in bed awake with eyes blown wide.

 

 

 

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol called out, already making the mistake of using his real name when he should have thought of giving Kyungsoo a different identity instead.

Kyungsoo gasped, croaking, as he attempted to talk after not using his voice for months. After not using his body for so long, Kyungsoo was unable to get up by himself too until Chanyeol helped him into a sitting position.

Chanyeol arranged some pillows behind Kyungsoo’s back against the headboard of the bed so Kyungsoo could sit up.

Chanyeol thought fast and helped Kyungsoo put on his glasses, which had been sitting around on the bedside table for two months now.

 

 

“Can you see me now?” Chanyeol spoke slowly, low and calm, sitting on the edge of the bed so as to not crowd Kyungsoo.

“Who are you? Where am I?” Kyungsoo asked in return, with a soft and also unenergetic tone.

 

Kyungsoo then tried remembering who he was but he only had vague memories and images of the fabricated past that Chanyeol had implanted in him. It had worked for sure but now that Kyungsoo was finally awake, he still needed to be fully adjusted to them.

“It’s me, Chanyeol. I am your husband. We haven’t been married long actually but we have known each other for years. You were injured in a battle against a dark sorcerer two months ago and you have been asleep since then. You’re in our home in Germany now,” Chanyeol lied straight through his teeth, holding Kyungsoo’s hand reassuringly.

 

 

Kyungsoo heard and digested what Chanyeol told him, as the fabricated memories of him being married to Chanyeol began to grow more vivid and felt even more real in his head.

Kyungsoo “remembered” meeting Chanyeol when he was very young, gradually falling in love as they grew older and then having Chanyeol propose to him less than a year ago.

In Kyungsoo’s memory, he had a fake family and fake friends he grew up within a completely different place than the real one. He didn’t remember his actual friends and family, only the ones in the fabricated memory Chanyeol made for him.

In the fake memory, all of Kyungsoo’s fake family and friends were dead too, so there was no one else left whom he knew except Chanyeol.

 

Kyungsoo also remembered being heavily injured in a battle which took place in the spring night with pink blossoms and petals fluttering all around him.

Kyungsoo just didn’t remember that Chanyeol had been responsible for that attack and that he was never married to Chanyeol in the first place.

 

 

But somehow, even then, Kyungsoo could feel something was off when he felt absolutely nothing for Chanyeol. If they were married and known each other for so long, then why wasn’t he in love with Chanyeol? Why is it that he felt like he didn’t know anything about Chanyeol? Why is it that his supposed husband felt almost like a stranger to him?

Magic could fabricate memories but it couldn’t fabricate feelings because that had to come from the heart from one’s own will. And not even the strongest magic from the strongest magician could control one’s heart.

And also somehow, Kyungsoo’s memory felt off to him. He had the memories but it felt like he had never experienced nor lived through them. As if he was watching a movie and simply remembering what he saw instead of what he experienced.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo remained bedridden for a week or two after that as he slowly recuperated. Kyungsoo was only awake for a few hours after he woke up from the coma, and gradually he began waking up for longer periods of time as the days passed.

His memory was still fuzzy and he’d forget almost everything when he fell back asleep, only to remember them all over again when he awoke again.

While he was still recovering, Chanyeol stopped drawing blood from Kyungsoo. Because, soon enough, Kyungsoo would be the one doing it willingly for him.

 

In the meantime, it was Chanyeol who fed Kyungsoo, helped washed him up and changed his clothes. Chanyeol even helped clean Kyungsoo up after he accidentally peed on the bed and suffered from incontinence during his recovery.

Chanyeol happily entertained all of Kyungsoo’s questions as he was slowly trying to regain his memories, albeit the false ones Chanyeol had fabricated.

Chanyeol did everything for Kyungsoo while the latter was bedridden, becoming Kyungsoo’s sole caregiver.

 

 

Chanyeol had thought everything through to maintain and upkeep this façade of him being Kyungsoo’s husband. With nothing magic couldn’t help, Chanyeol bought clothes that Kyungsoo would wear and make them appear worn and used.

With magic, he also created fake pictures of him and Kyungsoo together, which he hung around the house to make it appear that they were indeed married and had been living together for a while.

He even had made wedding bands made to fit both his and Kyungsoo’s ring finger, which he slipped onto Kyungsoo’s finger to further reinforce this lie.

 

 

Kyungsoo also learned of Chanyeol’s shop in Seoul and how he traveled back and forth every day, from there to their home in the Brandenburg state in Germany.

Only when Kyungsoo was asleep did Chanyeol return to his shop in Seoul. Chanyeol played the role of a caring and loving husband very well, and somehow he felt something oddly calming about it.

It made him feel like he was actually making an impact and a difference to someone like he was accomplishing something and leaving a mark on someone or just anything for that matter. Chanyeol did not understand why he felt like that but it was the way it is.

Eventually, in a slow, gradual and cautious manner, Chanyeol introduced the concept of the blood magic and why he used Kyungsoo’s blood instead of his own for it.

 

 

 

With some help from magic too, Kyungsoo bounced back to full health very quickly.

Then, for the first time since he got there, Chanyeol brought Kyungsoo outside their countryside cottage.

 

They didn’t go far, just outside to the largely unkempt garden within the fencing of the house. It was supposed to be a sight that Kyungsoo had seen and was familiar with, but it still felt like it was the first time he had been standing there and looking out at the scenery.  

There were scattered fluffy clouds in the blue sky and the garden could look a whole lot better whatnot with the overgrown weeds and the cracked, dry soil.

Their cottage with two floors was the only house within the vicinity. There was no other human or magician living near them for miles.  Ahead of them were wide green pastures with forests in the distance and a small path leading up to their home and down to the road.

 

Kyungsoo sighed, watching the scenery in front of him with Chanyeol reassuringly placing an arm around his waist.

“You mustn’t go far. You should stay home here where you’re safe. Those other magicians who attacked you that night might still be after you, so it’s important that you are safe here,” Chanyeol advised.

“-but what should I do in the meantime? Don’t you need help with your shop too? Haven’t I always been helping you with that?” Kyungsoo asked, looking up towards Chanyeol, referring to the fabricated memory where he had been helping run Chanyeol’s shop all along before this.

“I can get by myself. It’ll be all right,” Chanyeol assured, “You can still help make me some spells while you’re home. Since you like flowers, you can fix up the garden if you’d like. It hasn’t been looking so good since then.”

“Sure then,” Kyungsoo lowered his head, looking to the ground and the overgrown weeds near his feet, “-but why were those magicians after me that night? Did I do anything wrong to anger them?”

“No, you didn’t,” Chanyeol bluffed, “They’re just dark sorcerers who don’t like the good ones like us. They use dark magic and the likes to gain an advantage against those like us.” Chanyeol gulped, pretending to be remorseful, “-which is why you meddled with blood magic for our sake. You’ve been using your blood in the spells to protect both of us from them.”

 

Kyungsoo looked up at Chanyeol and then at a finger where blood was drawn from with a needle just a few days ago. This time, it was Kyungsoo himself who had done so for Chanyeol, who mentioned needing the blood.

Kyungsoo did question and wonder about it but when Chanyeol put it like that, it seemed plausible and reasonable as to why he got involved in blood magic. And for Kyungsoo, on the other hand, it was believable that he would be giving away his blood for Chanyeol to use, because they were married, and it was normal for a husband to want to protect their spouse as much as possible.

Kyungsoo may have forgotten his old memories and everyone he used to know, but he could just feel that he and other magicians had been through some tough and tragic times too. And even though he was doing something forbidden by meddling with blood magic, it was for the sake of the bigger picture and that was keeping himself and his husband, Chanyeol, safe.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

When it was daytime in Germany and Kyungsoo was awake, it was nighttime in Seoul and the antique shop was closed up at the time. Chanyeol was home around those times but he was almost always away or locked in his study, allegedly researching magic or out taking jobs from other magicians.

Once in a while, Chanyeol would come to Kyungsoo with a saucer and a needle, asking him for blood. Kyungsoo didn’t say much, despite the thoughts racing in his head and easily obeyed, pricking himself the needle and giving Chanyeol the few drops of blood the latter needed.

 

Kyungsoo never asked much about it and Chanyeol never talked about it either. They were supposed to be married to each other but Kyungsoo just couldn’t wrap his head around that fact. They seemed more like roommates instead of a married couple.

Therefore, even during a time when they could spend it with each other, Kyungsoo usually found himself alone and soon started to find things he could do to spend the time with.

 

 

 

For the first few months, Kyungsoo never left their house in Germany. He would stay at home tending to the gardens and the house; cooking, cleaning and even doing the laundry with some help from the friendly nymphs he summoned through magic.

Kyungsoo still remembered everything there was about being a sorcerer, although the current memories he possessed were false and fabricated. Therefore, summoning the nymphs to help him around with the household chores was not really much of a big deal to him.

The nymph’s appearance was that of a humanoid female that was no taller than a few feet tall. The tallest ones were barely higher than Kyungsoo’s waist level, and Kyungsoo was a bit below average height, to begin with.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo also seemed to somehow retain his gardening knowledge and quickly went to work on the unkempt garden in the yard, which Chanyeol never bothered to care for.

It was already September, towards the end of summer and beginning of fall. It wasn’t really a good season to start planting most trees and shrubs because most plants would be dormant during the incoming colder seasons.

 

With the help of earth nymphs, Kyungsoo had them fertilize and fix the dried soil that was in Chanyeol’s garden so it would be conducive for plants to grow in.

Then, Kyungsoo had some of the plant nymphs obtain him camellia seeds all the way from Japan so he could start planting them. Camellias bloomed in the winter and Kyungsoo thought that it was indeed the best flower for the timing.

So, in a few months, when it was winter and most of the plants were dormant, the camellias in the garden would be in full bloom. That way, there would be some life in the garden even in the coldest month.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo spent the rest of summer and early fall, constantly sitting on a stool in the garden as he tended to each and every plant, making sure they were growing healthy without problems.

Sometimes, Chanyeol would leave his study to get something to eat or a glass of water and he would see Kyungsoo from the window, gardening out in the yard.

 

Whenever Kyungsoo noticed Chanyeol there, he would wave and say hi from outside, reminding Chanyeol of how Kyungsoo used to wave at him when he used to pass by the florists. Almost all the time, because of the reminder, Chanyeol pretended to not see Kyungsoo there and continued along his way, ignoring Kyungsoo.

They were supposed to be a married couple who loved and wanted to be with each other so Kyungsoo honestly believed that Chanyeol did not notice him, refusing to even think that Chanyeol was deliberately ignoring him.

 

 

 

When it got colder to be outside for most of the day, Kyungsoo spent more time inside the house, although he still did spend an hour or two inspecting and watering the garden with the help of the water nymphs.  

Now that Kyungsoo was spending more time in the house, he spent his time tending to the house with the help of summoned brownie fairies, who helped him with the household chores.

The brownie fairies were no larger than the nymphs and usually appeared to be stout. Kyungsoo was particularly fond of how easy they were to please. All he needed to do was leave some milk by the hearth in return for them helping him with the household chores.

 

 

 

While the summoned brownie fairy swept the kitchen, Kyungsoo was boiling potato stew in a pot on the stove. Kyungsoo lifted up the glass lid of the pot to stir the contents while it was still simmering. As he did so, a wave of steam rose up and fogged his glasses.

Kyungsoo quickly stirred the soup in the pot before closing the lid again and then taking off his glasses to wipe them on his apron so he could see clearly again.

 

As Kyungsoo was putting his glasses back on the bridge of his nose, Chanyeol arrived in the kitchen with a notebook held up to his face and a pen in his right hand, writing down as he went along.

Chanyeol was dressed in his usual clothes; a white dress shirt, a brown vest on top of the shirt and black trousers. Almost every magician seemed to dress like that except Kyungsoo who liked the combination of sweaters, t-shirts, and jeans instead.

Chanyeol did not notice the brownie fairy sweeping the floor beside him and almost tripped on it, apologizing as he moved away when the brownie fairy swung the broom at him, spewing swear words at him. Brownie fairies could get rather cranky at times.

 

 

“Hey, the food is almost ready. Do you want to eat together?” Kyungsoo asked Chanyeol from across the kitchen with a jovial tone.

“Sure,” Chanyeol replied, putting the book down and placing his hands on his waist, “-I came down here to eat too actually.”

“Wonderful! I’ll get everything ready then. It won’t take long. Just sit and wait a bit,” Kyungsoo expressed, rather cheerfully, retrieving bowls and plates from the kitchen cabinet as he scurried over to the kitchen table to set it out.

“I can wait,” Chanyeol muttered, watching as Kyungsoo darted back and forth from watching over the soup on the stove and setting the table for their meal.

 

Chanyeol did as he was told to, which was to sit and wait at the dining table in the dining area just outside of the kitchen. He continued to watch as Kyungsoo would appear in the dining area to put some more cups or spoons out for the both of them to eat with.

 

It had been a few months now since Kyungsoo had assumed this position of Chanyeol’s “husband” and housekeeper, although Chanyeol had to put up the façade that it had been like this for years now.

From what Chanyeol could observe, Kyungsoo seemed to have fallen into the “husband” routine quite fast and naturally. Meanwhile, Chanyeol himself still felt very awkward and something unnatural to the situation- maybe because he knew how false all of this was.

Whatever it was and ignoring how he felt, Chanyeol still had to play this role for a bit longer because he needed Kyungsoo’s blood, who like a good loyal husband gladly gave Chanyeol as much as he needed.

So far, Chanyeol’s plans were working.

 

 

Once the stew and the other dishes were ready and the plates and cups had been set out, Kyungsoo joined in at the dining table with a spoon in hand.

“Eat up. You haven’t eaten today at all, haven’t you?” Kyungsoo urged, pushing the bowl of bread closer to Chanyeol, “You can eat the stew with bread if you want. Is it not enough? I can go get more from the kitchen if you want.”

“No, it’s alright. I’m good,” Chanyeol tried to decline, feeding himself with a spoonful of stew from his bowl, sipping slowly for as long as he could so it didn’t seem like he was barely eating at all.

Truthfully, Chanyeol had gotten used to eating so little that whenever he tried to eat a normal person’s meal portion, he ended up feeling stuffed and feeling like he might throw up. Chanyeol knew it wasn’t healthy but he was too busy researching magic and coming up with new spells and summons to master, too much that eating seemed like a waste of his time.

 

“How does it taste?” Kyungsoo asked, grinning even as he chewed, “After I lost some of my memories in that attack, I even forgot what kind of food you liked but I thought something soft on your stomach would be good since you don’t eat that much. Is there anything else you wanted me to cook for you?”

“It’s good,” Chanyeol praised, “-don’t worry about me. Just make whatever food you want to eat.”

“Oh, okay,” Kyungsoo accepted, adding more salt from the shaker into his bowl, “By the way, I just remembered that I needed to ask you something regarding some of the stuff I forgot.”

“Sure, go ahead and ask,” Chanyeol looked down towards his bowl, stirring his spoon around in the stew. Chanyeol was actually a bit anxious and afraid that Kyungsoo might have discovered the truth and was going to ask about it.

“I was wondering, when is your birthday?” Kyungsoo questioned, “When is my birthday too? I can’t seem to remember.”

Chanyeol innately heaved a big sigh of relief when it turned out that that was all Kyungsoo wanted to know. Gladly, he answered, “Mine is on November 27th. Yours is on January 29th.” Chanyeol didn’t actually know when Kyungsoo’s birthday was, so he had given out the first random date he could think of.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo nodded, his face lighting up as he realized, “So your birthday is just a few more weeks away!”

“I guess so,” Chanyeol made light of, resting a hand on the table.

“You should have told me earlier!” Kyungsoo almost jumped up in his seat, excited. Kyungsoo put out a hand to rest his hand on Chanyeol’s atop the table. Kyungsoo interlaced their fingers with each other, “Since I don’t remember our previous birthday celebrations, this will be like the first time I get to celebrate yours. So, I want to make it as special as possible. Can you clear up your plans for that day so we can get to spend it together?”

Chanyeol forced himself to smile at the irony of the situation as he chuckled dryly, “Sure, of course.” There was just no way could he say no to that despite how uncomfortable it actually made him feel.

 

Chanyeol had foreseen these kinds of things- such as celebrating birthdays and anniversaries- happening when pretending to be married to someone else. However, he had not foreseen himself feeling this way; feeling so strange, scared and vulnerable by letting someone be so close and personal with him.

It felt as if Kyungsoo was tearing down each and every brick of the wall that Chanyeol had put up between himself and everyone else, human or magician alike. And Chanyeol felt like he was the one most responsible for this happening.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Magicians were known for having a long lifespan, numbering hundreds to thousands of years. Just like their lifespan, they could go up to a few months at a time without needing to sleep, although when they did go to sleep, they could be asleep for over two weeks at longest.

While Kyungsoo preferred the more human routine of sleeping at night and waking up every day in the morning, Chanyeol preferred the magician sleeping pattern of staying awake for as long as he could and then taking a long sleep only when he absolutely needed too.

Time was important to Chanyeol and for someone who couldn’t be bothered to spend 10 minutes of his day to eat, it wasn’t a surprise that he would push himself to stay awake for as long as he could until he could not handle it any longer.

 

 

 

Since Kyungsoo woke up from his coma sometime in June, he had yet to see Chanyeol go to sleep until that day in mid-November.

It was already chilly that time of the year in their German countryside home but it hadn’t started to snow yet.

 

When Kyungsoo woke up in the bed in the room that was supposed to be his and Chanyeol’s, the fire nymph was still guarding and watching over the bedroom fireplace that still continued to burn, radiating warmth and emitting low crackling sounds throughout the room.

And there beside Kyungsoo, lying on his side with a spellbook still in his hand was Chanyeol, still fully dressed, looking extremely tired as he slept soundly. Chanyeol had dragged himself all the way to bed with Kyungsoo, come under the blankets and then fall asleep.

 

Kyungsoo smiled softly to himself, admiring Chanyeol’s features even as the latter slept. Kyungsoo caressed Chanyeol’s hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Then, Kyungsoo carefully pried the spellbook away from Chanyeol’s grasp and put it away on the bedside table.

Slowly and not wanting to disturb Chanyeol’s long deserved sleep; Kyungsoo climbed out of bed and rearranged the blankets to cover Chanyeol with before starting his day.

 

 

 

For the next few days, while Chanyeol remained asleep, Kyungsoo’s routine hardly changed much if at all. He was used to not really doing much with Chanyeol anyway. The only different thing was that Kyungsoo could actually come up to check on Chanyeol every now and then, unlike when Chanyeol spent most of his day away and shut out from the world.

Kyungsoo did wonder about Chanyeol’s shop since there was no one to take care of it while the owner himself was fast asleep. Kyungsoo could not remember how it was when Chanyeol had to sleep previously, but he trusted that Chanyeol would have it closed up for the time being.

 

 

In the time being, Kyungsoo carried on as usual. In the morning, he would maintain the house and care for the growing camellia shrubs in the garden which had yet to bloom but were at least a foot tall now.

On some days, the temperature would drop to below freezing with rather strong winds and Kyungsoo would set up a protective magical barrier to protect his camellias growing in the garden. Kyungsoo was eager to see the first flowers bloom in the garden and he wasn’t going to let the weather stop that from happening.

 

At night, before Kyungsoo went to sleep, he would enter Chanyeol’s study and write small spells out on special magical paper that were sold for a one-time use of the spell by someone who would otherwise be unable to use it.  Kyungsoo knew that Chanyeol had been selling this at the shop for side income and he decided to help out.

Then, Kyungsoo would go to bed every night with Chanyeol by his side until he woke up almost six days later.

 

 

 

When Kyungsoo woke up the next morning to see Chanyeol no longer there, he grabbed his glasses off the nightstand quickly and left the room to look for Chanyeol.

He found Chanyeol in an empty spare room downstairs, which housed the door that connected their home to the shop in Seoul. The door was just a simple wooden door with a knob, built into the wall of the room but allowed them to travel back and forth as much as they pleased.

Chanyeol was just about to open the door to leave when he saw Kyungsoo huffing at the entrance of the room, having run around the house and all the way down there to catch him before he left.

 

“Wait!” Kyungsoo halted, pressing his hands to his waist as he regained his breath.

“What is it?” Chanyeol sounded grouchy as he turned around to face Kyungsoo.

“You shouldn’t leave so fast. You just got up! I haven’t even made breakfast for us yet,” Kyungsoo reasoned.

“I’ll be fine. I had enough sleep and I can find something else to eat,” Chanyeol tried to excuse himself, “The shop has been closed up for too long. I need to go back and start working now since I’ve wasted too much time sleeping.”

“No- wait!” Kyungsoo put an arm out, stepping and making his way closer to Chanyeol, preventing him from leaving.

“Is there something you want?” Chanyeol sighed, denying everything he had said earlier on because of how tired and disheveled he looked like.

Kyungsoo’s voice was soft as he asked, “Do you really have to go now?”

“Of course I have to. Why?” Chanyeol answered like it was the plain obvious thing to say.

“Well,” Kyungsoo paused, “-I just thought that we don’t really spend much time together these days because you’re always busy with work. But now, since the shop is still closed, I thought that we could spend some time together at home.”

 

 

Chanyeol honestly hated the idea of staying home doing nothing and watching Kyungsoo cook and clean and tend to his garden. It wasn’t very appealing at all when there were lots more of other things he could do instead.

But Chanyeol still had to put up with this role of a husband he had put onto himself, and reluctantly with a heavy heart, he stayed home that day and spent it with Kyungsoo instead.

 

 

Luckily for Chanyeol, Kyungsoo didn’t really expect much out of him. Kyungsoo just wanted Chanyeol to comment on his cooking, listen to him talking about his garden layout and plans for the spring and read some books together.

In the evening, it began to snow for the first time that season. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were curled up on a couch overlooking the glass window, watching the snow fall from within the warm confines of their home, with a blanket covering both of them.

Chanyeol was still tired and had dozed off on Kyungsoo’s shoulder while they were supposed to be reading a book together.

 

Chanyeol was awoken shortly later by the sensation of slight moistness around his lips. He slowly opened his eyes and saw Kyungsoo kissing him with his eyes closed. Seeing that, Chanyeol gently pushed Kyungsoo away and turned his face away.

Chanyeol left the couch and went back to his study and Kyungsoo wondered why they never so much as kissed if they were supposed to be married to each other.

 

 

But even, a week later, when Chanyeol was alone behind the counter of his antique shop in Seoul, he still remembered the warm yet wet kiss Kyungsoo had given him. It was his first kiss in a very long time and even though he had initially panicked when Kyungsoo kissed him, the memory of it actually put a smile on his face.

While it was already dark and raining very coldly outside in Seoul, alone in the empty shop, Chanyeol traced his lips with his fingers as he recalled how it felt like and wondered as to what Kyungsoo would be doing now at their home in Germany.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Chanyeol honestly forgot about his birthday because he had been busy working and undertaking jobs for other magicians in the days leading up to it. He had even forgotten about telling Kyungsoo when his birthday was.

He completely forgot about freeing up the date and had spent the entire day working. Lucky for him, time zones existed and he didn’t have to face a disappointed Kyungsoo.

In the evening of November 27th, he closed up his shop and returned to his home in Germany where it was still noon of the same day.

 

When Chanyeol entered the house through the magical door that connected the two places, he was greeted by a myriad of nymphs and brownie fairies that pulled him out into the living room where Kyungsoo was waiting with a cake and candles on top.

“Happy birthday, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo announced, smiling wide and bright like the sun in summer.

Chanyeol gasped, his breath hitched in his throat as he saw all the birthday decorations, the cake and then remembered what day it was.

                                                                                  

Chanyeol slumped down onto the chair next to him as he held his head in his hands and began to cry. Worried, Kyungsoo put the cake down onto the table and rushed to Chanyeol’s side.

“Chanyeol, what’s wrong?” Kyungsoo flustered, putting his arms around Chanyeol.

Chanyeol shook his head, turning his face away from Kyungsoo as he cried. He couldn’t admit to Kyungsoo that it had been so long since anyone even remembered or celebrated his birthday. They were supposed to be together for a long time so they would have celebrated birthdays with each other.

Chanyeol’s emotions were real but the words that came out of his mouth weren’t so much real, “I’m just so relieved that I get to spend another birthday with you this year especially after what happened. I was so afraid I’d be alone this year.”

“You don’t have to be afraid, anymore. I’m here with you now,” Kyungsoo consoled, rubbing up and down on Chanyeol’s back.

“Thank you,” Chanyeol muttered, grasping back onto Kyungsoo, “Thank you so much, Kyungsoo.”

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Kyungsoo made Chanyeol feel all the emotions he hadn’t felt in so many years. Kyungsoo made Chanyeol feel warm, wanted, cared of and most importantly, he made Chanyeol feel like there was a home for him to belong to.

Chanyeol actually began looking forward to coming home every day and waiting for Kyungsoo to wake up every morning. Kyungsoo was always there for him and Chanyeol liked that the most.

 

Slowly and gradually, he too was learning to be a husband and doing the things that made Kyungsoo happy. Chanyeol learned to smile more, learned to praise Kyungsoo more and learned that Kyungsoo liked holding hands even when it didn’t involve Chanyeol pricking Kyungsoo’s finger to draw blood.

There was something else that came across Chanyeol’s mind when he learning to play this role of a husband but he was too reserved to bring it up yet. He believed that if Kyungsoo desired that, then he should be the one to do so.

 

 

 

On a snowy night in early January, several days before Kyungsoo’s birthday, Chanyeol was actually helping to clear up the table after dinner with the help of the brownie fairy when Kyungsoo posed him the question.

“Say, Chanyeol,” Kyungsoo spoke softly and lowly in the already quiet house, “I was wondering about something.”

“What is it?” Chanyeol replied, passing a plate to the brownie fairy to bring to the sink.

“I-,” Kyungsoo paused, biting on his lower lip before he continued again, obviously avoiding eye-contact with Chanyeol, “I was wondering why we hadn’t made love yet in the past six months since I woke up from the coma. Didn’t we use to do that before?”

 

Chanyeol was caught by surprise even if he did expect Kyungsoo to eventually ask about it. He couldn’t just tell Kyungsoo that they had never made love to each other at all though.

Chanyeol quickly came up with an excuse, also trying to not make eye-contact with Kyungsoo too, flustering, “Yeah, we used to but I didn’t want to bring it up because I wanted you to recuperate after that attack by the dark magicians. I didn’t want you to feel like you were obligated to do it.”

“Oh, I see,” Kyungsoo bought the explanation, “That makes sense.”

“Please don’t worry about it,” Chanyeol assured, “It can always come later and it’s not something we want to force either. There’s always a time and place for it.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Kyungsoo accepted, smiling a bit.

 

 

 

Although they never talked about it again, the thought and topic were like a seed that was planted into their heads, which continued to grow and bloom as time passed.

It was hard to forget such a thing and the more they avoided talking about it, the more it actually encouraged the thought.

In that aspect, magicians and non-magical human beings weren’t that very much different. They had carnal needs and wants too.

 

 

It didn’t take long for Chanyeol to cave in. Just some days after talking about it, on Kyungsoo’s birthday, which Chanyeol made sure to celebrate, he found himself laying down and undressing Kyungsoo on the warm bed they rarely slept together on.

Apparently, it was supposed to be one of the many times they had made love with each other, but it still felt very much like the first time that it really was.

 

Kyungsoo enjoyed how full and split open he felt because of Chanyeol. On the other hand, Chanyeol had to admit how warm and inviting it was to have Kyungsoo wrapped around him, moaning his name and panting from the delirious of pleasure.

They took things slow and steady. Kyungsoo felt so good for him that Chanyeol was almost lulled into believing that this lie he had made up was actually real. Chanyeol felt like he really belonged there, between Kyungsoo’s legs and by the said person himself.

It had been their real first time together but it certainly wasn’t the last for the time to come.

 

 

 

After that, Chanyeol felt like they had finally become a real married couple who had been together a while. It wasn’t an immediate change but Chanyeol felt himself looking forward to coming home from work to see Kyungsoo every day, looking forward to listening to Kyungsoo talk about his day, looking forward to eating Kyungsoo’s cooking and starting to feel comfortable with where things were headed.

Even despite the fleeting moment of comfort and the initial high of emotions he was feeling again in a long time, Chanyeol still had this unnerving feeling that the truth would always prevail. That this lie he had orchestrated would all be unraveled one day because, frankly, Chanyeol was actually quite enjoying this style of life he led now.

Chanyeol didn’t know when the day would come and how Kyungsoo would react to the truth, but Chanyeol was determined to make the most of it by remembering why he had come up with this lie in the first place, reminding himself of his true purpose.

 

 

The lingering fear in his head eventually made its first physical appearance sometime in early February in the middle of winter.

Chanyeol had been asleep for a few days prior to that and he had woken up to Kyungsoo skipping around the house excitedly about something. Kyungsoo was gushing about how the flowers he planted in late summer were finally blooming.

Kyungsoo held Chanyeol’s hand and led him to the window, drawing open the curtains to show Chanyeol the flowers outside.

 

While Kyungsoo was smiling, happily showing it off, Chanyeol felt like his heart had sunk to the pits of his stomach.

Chanyeol knew Kyungsoo had been planting some flowers in the garden but he had never bothered to ask what kind of flowers they were. Now that the aforementioned flowers were blooming, Chanyeol could see what kind it was as clear as day.

Chanyeol knew next to nothing about flowers but there was no he way couldn’t recognize the red camellias that Kyungsoo used to gift to him. Out of all the flowers Kyungsoo could have chosen to plant, Chanyeol began to worry if the red camellias growing in their garden outside were more than a popular symbol among magicians or Kyungsoo hinting that he was beginning to regain his real memories.

 

“They’re pretty,” Chanyeol praised, honest that the flowers were indeed beautiful as he tried to mask his worry.

“Thank you. I worked hard to take care of them especially with the frost and strong snow this winter. I’m happy that they’re finally blooming,” Kyungsoo responded, his arm wrapped around Chanyeol’s waist as they stood together, looking outside from the window at the garden.

“Why red camellias though?” Chanyeol had to ask, quickly covering it up with, “I’m just curious because you used to grow almost every type of flowers possible. So, what made you choose to plant the camellias first?”

“Oh, it’s because they can bloom in the winter,” Kyungsoo replied, nonchalantly and then explaining, “I didn’t want to wait so long until spring or summer for the flowers to bloom so I grew the camellia first. At least I can see some life in the garden even during the winter.”

“I see,” Chanyeol understood, a thin smile formed on his lips as he gazed fondly upon Kyungsoo beside him, “They really are beautiful though, just like you. Camellias always remind me of you. You probably don’t remember but they have always been your favorite flower. You liked to give them to me.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo smiled too, “I always felt rather fond towards camellias for some reason. I guess that explains it. I can’t believe I have forgotten that too when I lost my memories. Anyway, I can’t wait for spring so I can finally see the rest of the garden in bloom. I can’t wait to show that to you! ”

“I can’t wait to see it too,” Chanyeol supported, interested in it for Kyungsoo and his sake alone. At that point, Kyungsoo could be showing Chanyeol paint drying and he would still think it was exciting, as long as Kyungsoo enjoyed it.

It was one of the signs that he had fallen so hard for Kyungsoo but Chanyeol would not realize it until spring came that year.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

In early April, on the night before the day, the pink blossoms reached full bloom that year, Chanyeol was walking through the same park he encountered Kyungsoo in exactly a year ago. 

He had just gotten back from a house call from a regular customer who often hired Chanyeol to remove the “noises” in her houses, which were really just a poltergeist causing mischief. Chanyeol relied on the few people like her who still believed in magical entities for a living.

 

Unlike when he was there on that night a year ago, the park was a bit crowded that night as everyone was excited for the next morning when the full bloom would officially begin.

There were already a few stalls set up in the park, selling food and merchandise. Groups of people, especially couples were posing under the tree and taking pictures.

 

 

Chanyeol continued to ignore all of them as made his way down the brick path in the middle of the park, eager to get home and back to Kyungsoo.

As the pink petals fluttered down to the ground in front of his eyes, blown away by a light breeze, Chanyeol couldn’t help but stop and stare at it, his eyes following the petals before it landed on the ground at his feet.

Pink blossoms in full bloom in the spring used to remind him of the day the war against magicians was launched. Now, it only reminded him of Kyungsoo and of what he had done to the said man.

 

Just as Chanyeol tilted his head upwards to look at the tree and flowers above him, he felt some dryness in his throat and his chest constricting. His throat felt a bit itchy and sooner than he knew it, Chanyeol began to cough and felt what he thought was phlegm rising from his lungs, up into his throat and into his mouth.

Chanyeol put his hand out in front of his face and what came out of his mouth was not phlegm. It was the petal of a red flower, which ominously resembled the red camellias Kyungsoo grew in their garden.

 

 

As the breeze continued to blow and brought the red petal in his hand away with it, Chanyeol knew that he had contracted the deadly Hanahaki disease. At most, he would live to see next spring but that was it.

Right there and then, Chanyeol also realized that he had fallen in love with Kyungsoo, who probably didn’t feel the same way back towards him. After all, if Kyungsoo really loved him, he probably wouldn’t be starting to cough up the petals.

                             

Chanyeol laughed to himself at the irony of the situation. He was the one using Kyungsoo but he had become a victim of his own orchestration. It was totally understandable that Kyungsoo did not love him but Chanyeol couldn’t believe he’d be the one to actually fall in love.

Chanyeol believed that, maybe, he deserved this punishment.    

 

 


	2. Narcissus

 

Chanyeol tried his best to conceal the progression of the Hanahaki disease from Kyungsoo. For many reasons, he didn’t want Kyungsoo to know about it; one of them being not wishing to see Kyungsoo’s distraught face and making him worry to know that Chanyeol had a year at most left to live.

If Chanyeol was going to have that amount of time left to live, he wanted it spent in the best way possible, even if it was to continue this lie he had grown to enjoy so much.

 

Hiding it was still easy to do so in the initial stages of the disease when the coughs were still sporadic and he was only occasionally throwing up flower petals.

Chanyeol brewed cough suppressant potions which stopped him from coughing, especially around Kyungsoo. But the side effect of the cough suppressants was that he would later become drowsy, nauseous and sick, up to the point where he’d then throw up all the red camellia-like petals that had been suppressed throughout the entire days.

 

 

It would last for hours and Chanyeol would be hunched over a sink or a toilet bowl, throwing up saliva, some blood and then the red petals while feeling the utmost biting pain in his chest as it happened.

For every red petal he threw up, he was reminded of the fact that Kyungsoo probably knew what was going on or that Chanyeol was the only one helplessly in love.

Sometimes it was so bad that the thought of death and not having to suffer anymore when he was dead, actually comforted him.

 

 

After every throwing up session, Chanyeol would collect at least one of the petals and put it in a small wooden box which he hid away from Kyungsoo’s sight. It was for him to monitor the progression of the disease, watching as the petals grew larger and waiting for when he’d eventually begin throwing up entire flowers.

Chanyeol didn’t know how to tell Kyungsoo about this because he knew a time would come when it would be almost impossible to hide. Whatever it was, Chanyeol was bent on not revealing the truth to Kyungsoo. Not until he was choking on the petals and not until the flowers had grown roots all the way into his lungs and he would die suffocating on his own blood, all of it borne out of love.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Despite the early stages of his illness, Chanyeol couldn’t help but grow ever closer to Kyungsoo, especially now that he was making sure to spend every moment of the last days of his life in the best way he could.

Chanyeol realized that he was wasting a lot of time by being away and working in his shop all day, which was the time he could have spent being with Kyungsoo.

 

Chanyeol came up with a solution which would still allow him to work and be with Kyungsoo at the same time, which was to let Kyungsoo work alongside him in the antique shop. After all, Kyungsoo was a sorcerer too and could be of much help when it came to dealing with the magic part of his job.

 

 

 

Chanyeol brought this up to Kyungsoo who was more than happy to help Chanyeol in his shop. Before Kyungsoo could start working in Chanyeol’s antique shop, Chanyeol warned Kyungsoo about the alleged dark magicians who had attacked him and might still want to come after Kyungsoo.

To supposedly protect Kyungsoo against them, Chanyeol cast a concealment spell on Kyungsoo so that he appeared to look like someone else to other people. The spell lasted for a day and Chanyeol would have to cast it every day before they left their home in Germany and went to the shop in Seoul.

 

Chanyeol was lying, of course. He didn’t want Kyungsoo’s former customers and boss from the florist just two blocks away to recognize him working there.

Kyungsoo never questioned it but Chanyeol was starting to feel that Kyungsoo actually knew some things and was just playing along at this point. Chanyeol knew he had no evidence to back up his suspicions and started to believe that maybe he was turning into a mad, rambling man now that he was nearing his death.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

But now that Chanyeol was spending more of his day and time around Kyungsoo, concealing the Hanahaki disease got even more challenging.

They were in their shop one day while it was morning in Seoul. Kyungsoo was cleaning up some old shelves in the shop while Chanyeol was trying to fix an old watch that was just recently sold to them.

 

While Kyungsoo was dusting the antiques and Chanyeol was squinting so heavily because of the small screw parts in the watch he needed to fix, he suddenly felt the constricting feeling in his chest as it tightened up and threatened to cough up something.

Chanyeol immediately cupped a hand to his mouth, dropping all the tools in his hand, letting it hit the wooden table with a loud clang and rolling all the way until it fell onto the floor below.

Kyungsoo, from across the shop, was also startled by the sudden loud sounds coming from Chanyeol’s way and looked to see what was going on.

 

 

 

“Chanyeol?” Kyungsoo called out, his voice tainted with the sounds of worry and concern.

Without responding, Chanyeol ran off to the toilet at the back of the shop with a hand still cupped over his mouth as the nauseous feeling of wanting to vomit rose from the pits of his guts and all the way into his lung cavity.

 

Kyungsoo dropped his feather duster, took off his apron and jogged to the front door, locking it and turning over the sign to “Closed” as he then made his way to the toilet too.

The shop’s toilet was just a small, old one but dry and clean and sometimes smelled of the remnants of a magic spell. The shop itself was located on the ground floor of a building block in an older part of Seoul so that was no surprise that shop was probably as old as the antiques sold in it.

 

 

“Chanyeol? Are you alright in there? Hey, can you listen to me?” Kyungsoo knocked on the toilet door which Chanyeol had locked shut.

Chanyeol was kneeling on the tiled floor of the toilet, gripping the edges of the toilet bowl as he continued to retch and heave. Chanyeol hadn’t eaten yet that day so there was no food to throw up, just water, spots of blood and larger red petals.

Every time he retched and gagged, a stabbing feeling was felt piercing in his chest. Chanyeol knew it would be easier if he just stopped taking the cough suppressants and gradually throw up the flowers instead of waiting for the medication to wear off and have them go out all at once like now.

 

In the midst of his suffering, Chanyeol even considered stopping the medication altogether and just letting it happen so he wouldn’t have to deal with too much pain. That was until he heard Kyungsoo’s mellow voice calling out for him from behind the other side of the door.

Chanyeol stilled, beads of tears forming at the corner of his eyes as Kyungsoo continue calling out for him and asking Chanyeol if he was alright or if he needed anything that could help.

 

 

“I’m fine,” Chanyeol managed to choke out before he threw up several petals that hurt his throat despite how soft they were. Chanyeol continued, gasping for breath, “I’m just feeling a bit sick.”

“Do you want me to come in there? Do you want me to get you some water?” Kyungsoo continued to ask, fidgeting where he stood, ever more worried for Chanyeol.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t want you to have what I’m having. It might be contagious,” Chanyeol lied, “Don’t worry about me. Just go back to work.”

“Oh, okay,” Kyungsoo meekly accepted, believing the lies.

“I’ll be out soon,” Chanyeol yelled from inside the toilet once more, then resting his head on the toilet seat.

 

Chanyeol just wanted this vomiting episode to be done with so he could destroy all the evidence that was the red petals and then return as if nothing had happened. It was bad enough that Kyungsoo had to witness him in the midst of his fits like this.

But at least, all the secrets he had kept were safe now and Chanyeol found a bit of relief in that.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

After that last vomiting episode where he almost risked revealing the Hanahaki disease he had to Kyungsoo, Chanyeol closed up the shop and decided to sleep for at least a week but not before taking all the cough suppressants which he had secretly brewed up without Kyungsoo’s knowledge.

Chanyeol was beyond exhausted and that last episode had left him feeling so weak, unable to go any further than what he was usually capable of.

 

Chanyeol would have continued being awake, not wanting to waste the rest of his life away by sleeping but he couldn’t help it this time. When he and Kyungsoo had gotten home after that day, Chanyeol could only kiss Kyungsoo on the cheek tiredly and announce very tiredly that he was going to bed right away.

With a soft smile, Kyungsoo told Chanyeol to sleep well.

 

 

 

Chanyeol never dreamt when he slept these days. Chanyeol stopped dreaming a long time ago after he had seen the horrors of the war and the genocide that had robbed the lives of far too many magicians whose sin was simply for being alive, not that they had a say in that either.

It wasn’t any different that time. Chanyeol continued sleeping dreamlessly for more than a week, peacefully, with no coughs and with no petals spilling out from his throat. He wasn’t suffering when he was asleep and he didn’t have to be awake to deal with his conscience because of his actions.

 

That itself felt like a dream to Chanyeol and what he woke up to seem to affirm that he wasn’t deserving of the moment of at all, that all the suffering coming his way was what he truly deserved as retribution.

The sun was shining softly through the sheer curtains of the room. The windows were slightly open, letting in a cool breeze from the early summer air. The room was bright but it seemed like a nice, soft glow instead of a glaring brightness.

 

 

Chanyeol felt fingers running through his hair, gently caressing his head and scalp as a soft voice hummed a tune that he didn’t recognize nor heard of before.

Chanyeol could feel the other person’s warm, comforting and inviting presence beside him. He didn’t even need to take a look to see who it was. He just knew who the other person sitting beside him on the bed was.

 

“Didn’t you go to sleep too?” Chanyeol asked, his voice croaking from being asleep so long as he rested his hand on Kyungsoo’s thigh.

“I slept for a day or two. I tried going back to sleep again but I couldn’t so I just stayed up and watched over you the whole time while doing some chores I could. I was worried you’d get sick again,” Kyungsoo answered, keeping his voice low and soft so as to not disturb Chanyeol too much.

“Oh, you didn’t have to,” Chanyeol responded, chuckling dryly, “I hope I wasn’t too much of a trouble for you while I was asleep.”

“No, you weren’t at all,” Kyungsoo assured, “-but sometimes, it felt like your breath was hitching while you were asleep and I was worried that you’d stop breathing so I turned you over and had you lay down on your back. I’m sorry if that disturbed your sleep somewhat. I can’t remember if you’ve always slept like this so I wasn’t too sure.”        

“Yeah well, it happens sometimes but it’s not anything too bad so you don’t have to worry too much about it,” Chanyeol mentioned, eyes fluttering up to look at Kyungsoo as he raised a palm above his face to cup Kyungsoo on the cheek, who was hovering just above him.

“Okay then, but how do you feel now?” Kyungsoo asked, resting his hand over Chanyeol’s and leaning into the touch of the latter’s hand gently on his face.

“It’s much better because I get to see you now,” Chanyeol half-joked, snickering a little.

“Chanyeol-,” Kyungsoo pouted, “I’m serious here because I don’t want to see you getting sick again. I don’t even know what was wrong with you there so I couldn’t do anything to help. I’d like to know now so I can do something.”

“It’s nothing too bad,” Chanyeol continued to lie, “I was probably pushing myself too hard. I didn’t even eat or drink in the days leading up to it so it’s probably that.”

“I thought so,” Kyungsoo sighed, “You don’t think I didn’t notice that you have been giving away the food I cooked for you to the brownie fairies instead? I’m your husband, you know.”

“I know, I know,” Chanyeol admitted only on that part about giving his food away, “I won’t do it next time, alright? I’ll be more careful.”

“You better be,” Kyungsoo’s frown now slowly turned into that of a smile,”-because I made some food just now and I want you to eat it before you get sick again. Are you able to get up? If you can’t, I can bring the food up here.”

“I can get up, I think,” Chanyeol affirmed, “You go on ahead first. I’ll see you downstairs.”

“Are you sure?” Kyungsoo had to ask again.

“I’m sure,” Chanyeol replied again.

“Okay then,” Kyungsoo smiled, bending over to kiss Chanyeol on the forehead, “I’ll see you in a bit.”

 

 

As Kyungsoo got off the bed and padded across the room, Chanyeol rolled over to lie down on his back and look up at the plain ceiling above him

Chanyeol had always thought that he would be in control of the situation, that if he continued to play the role of a responsible husband to Kyungsoo, he’d reap all the benefits from it which included having Kyungsoo become his personal blood source for blood magic.

Kyungsoo was essentially a good person and Chanyeol knew he had made the right decision by choosing Kyungsoo to rope in along this façade he had brought together. There was no other better sorcerer to be “married” too.

 

But while Chanyeol was still continuing that lie and still getting what he wanted out of it, he overlooked the one thing magic couldn’t control and that was his heart and his feelings.

Because as time passed and as he got to know Kyungsoo better and better, Chanyeol found himself falling in love deeper each day. If Chanyeol were to look back and ask himself why he would answer that he could just not help it.

 

After being alone for so long, surrounded by loss and the decline people similar to him each day, Chanyeol was a dying flower that couldn’t help but reach out to the first source of light and warmth that was provided to him. And that was Kyungsoo.

Even if it was a lie, even if Kyungsoo didn’t love him back, even if Kyungsoo would hate him when the truth was revealed, Chanyeol just wanted to be selfish and at least die knowing that he had found love in a dismal world where he even thought it was no longer possible.

 

 

 

That day, after Chanyeol woke up from being asleep for over a week, he decided not to open his shop and spent the entire day hanging out with Kyungsoo in their house.

Chanyeol listened as Kyungsoo talked about something funny that happened with the nymphs and the brownie fairies, loving the crease that formed around Kyungsoo’s eyes when he laughed.

Chanyeol made sure to tell Kyungsoo that he liked the food that was made for him. Chanyeol followed Kyungsoo into the garden; helping pass around tools as Kyungsoo was gardening, listening to Kyungsoo gush about the flowers that would bloom soon in the summer.

 

When the evening came, they cuddled up together in bed and read a book together after dinner. And as night approached, they were a mess of bodies and limbs intertwined with each other as they made love, chanting each other’s names like a spell before falling into one another.

Kyungsoo had no idea and Chanyeol soon learned how being happy and guilty felt like at the same time.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

The cough suppressant potions which Chanyeol brewed seemed to be working if he continued taking them religiously every few days that is. As the days passed, Chanyeol too learned how to properly manage and learn when it was time for him to throw up all the suppressed petals from his lungs.

When he could feel it coming, he would excuse himself and try to get away from Kyungsoo without raising any suspicions. So, he could go somewhere else and finally expel out all the red camellia petals in one go.

 

The petals were also worryingly becoming larger and Chanyeol wasn’t really looking forward to the day when the full flowers would be coming out from between his lips. 

As beautiful as Chanyeol had seen what camellias looked like in full bloom, it was now a grim reminder to his limited time left alive.

 

 

 

Sometime in mid to late summer, over a year since this whole charade started, Chanyeol sent Kyungsoo out on an errand to deliver a spell sealed in a scroll- which would ward off minor evil spirits  - to the old lady, Mrs. Bae, who believed in magic and often made use of Chanyeol’s services.

Chanyeol wasn’t able to go because he knew he was about to throw up the flower petals, feigning it off by saying he was too busy and locked himself in his study while making Kyungsoo run the errand for him.

 

 

It was like killing two birds with one stone. Chanyeol got to hide his disease a little longer from Kyungsoo while also getting paid for carrying out the errand for a regular customer.

 

It was supposed to be another routine delivery. Although Chanyeol usually did the job, Kyungsoo had come along with him at least twice in the past few months since he began working for Chanyeol at the antique shop.

Hence, Kyungsoo knew the route to Mrs. Bae’s and was already on his way back from her house when he walked through a quiet and deserted tunnel when it was already beginning to get dark outside.

 

 

Chanyeol always told Kyungsoo to be careful when walking outside alone because he could be attacked by supposed dark magicians who wanted to hurt him, for reasons Kyungsoo didn’t know. Before Kyungsoo left the shop, he had made sure to cast a concealment spell on himself so he would assume the appearance of some other random person for as long as the spell lasted.

Kyungsoo wore dark clothes and kept his head low as he walked with his hands in the pockets of his trousers, eager to get back to the shop as soon as possible. Even the thought of being outside alone- which he rarely did- was enough to make him feel distressed, simply because of the false alarms, which Chanyeol had planted into his head.

Kyungsoo wouldn’t even choose to take the tunnel path if it weren’t the shortest cut to get back to the shop.

 

As Kyungsoo was walking through the tunnel, the lightings on the walls vandalized with spray paint, flickered and Kyungsoo sped up his pace the moment it happened. The lightings had been fine just a moment ago and he didn’t think it was a coincidence that it was happening now out of all times.

On top of that, Kyungsoo could smell the traces of magic in the air. It was almost like a magician’s natural instinct to just know when magic was at use or in use nearby.

 

 

This smell of magic was akin to something unpleasant burning, like the hair from a human’s head. The damp air also seemed to enable to the unpleasant smell to permeate more through the surroundings. It made Kyungsoo uncomfortable because he didn’t think anything good could even come out of that.

When the lights in the tunnel shut down all at once, Kyungsoo broke into a sprint and made a mad dash for the end of the tunnel- even when the lights in the tunnel immediately turned back on.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo was so close to the end of it. He could already feel the difference in temperature from inside the tunnel when compared to outside of it. He could see the rather empty streets outside beyond the tunnel and the buildings lining it.

Just as Kyungsoo was about to exit the tunnel while still sprinting, he was pushed back by a sudden and invisible wave of force that hit him in the chest, lifting him off his feet as he was thrown back several meters into the tunnel again.

 

Kyungsoo landed on his back onto the worn asphalt road and quickly got back up again, not letting himself falter even for a second because he feared these so-called dark magicians Chanyeol told him about.

Thinking fast, Kyungsoo conjured a snake summon known as Njoka, even before his assailants could appear. As always, Kyungsoo’s summon were always harmless and Njoka was actually a snake summon that was commonly used for catching rats causing an infestation in a certain location.

Kyungsoo had the ability to conjure up greater summons and even Njoka seemed like a bad idea for the situation but it was the first and only thing he could think of at the time. Not remembering a chunk of his past and feeling like he didn’t even live through his memories certainly did hinder Kyungsoo’s ability to a great extent.

                                

 

When Kyungsoo saw the figures of someone, presumably a man, approaching him from the end of the tunnel, Kyungsoo decided to run through the other end of the tunnel only to find out that there was someone else there with seemingly hostile intentions.

The horrendous smell that reminded Kyungsoo of hair burning was growing even stronger as he was surrounded with no escape as the two men slowly approached him.

 

“I knew it. It is him,” One of the magicians spoke up, now close enough for Kyungsoo to have a closer look at his face, “When I hit Kyungsoo with the spell just now, it removed the concealment spell and revealed who he really was.”

“So it’s really the same person that is supposedly Chanyeol’s new shop assistant,” The other magician with the slightly deeper voice commented.

“I knew Chanyeol had something to do with this,” The first magician continued, “I never trusted him in the first place when he said he had no idea where Kyungsoo went.”

“So it was a good idea to follow him, after all,” The second magician added.

 

 

Kyungsoo looked back and forth at the two magicians flanking him at either side. Somehow, he was alarmed but yet also curious about their presence. Weren’t they supposed to attack him? Why were they having a discussion with him in between now of all times?

Kyungsoo had never met them before but they seemed to know of him. They got his name right too.

“Who are you? How do you know my name?” Kyungsoo sternly demanded, butting into their conversation as Njoka hissed at the first magician, baring its fangs.

“He really doesn’t remember us, does he?” The second man directed the question to the first man while pointing at Kyungsoo.

“Obviously, Chanyeol did something to him to wipe out his memory and make Kyungsoo loyal to him,” The first man answered.

“What are you talking about? Chanyeol is my husband! I won’t let you accuse him on such baseless grounds. I don’t even know who the hell you two are to just appear and say things like that,” Kyungsoo scolded, directing Njoka to attack the first magician.

 

 

Before Njoka could even bare its fangs and lurch onto the first magician, he immediately grabbed the snake summon who was just inches away from biting onto his face. After muttering a short incantation, Njoka was instantly de-summoned and vanished from the material world.

The second magician was seemingly ready to assist the first magician.

Seeing that he had the ability to de-summon, Kyungsoo instantly knew that this man was a sorcerer much like himself too. And particularly a strong one who was able to remove summons of another sorcerer so effortlessly.

 

“You’ve changed a lot, Kyungsoo,” The first magician spoke, “You really don’t remember me, do you? I’m your friend, Baekhyun.”

“-and I know you probably don’t remember me either but I’m Jongdae. We’re your friends, Kyungsoo. We’ve known each other for so long,” The second magician named Jongdae revealed, speaking as if he was so familiar to Kyungsoo.

 

When Kyungsoo heard them say out their names, his mind instantly felt blank and lost, as if he was trying hard to remember something that wasn’t there in his memories in the first place. Kyungsoo felt like he was supposed to know and remember something associated to the feeling but there was just nothing.

“I have no idea who the hell you two are,” Kyungsoo hissed, “-and I certainly don’t have any friends either. If I did, I’d remember you.”

“Chanyeol’s lying to you! If you come with us, we can show you the truth. You’re not his husband and you never were!” Jongdae claimed, emotionally, “He is just using you.”

“What are you even talking about? I’ve known Chanyeol almost all my life and we’ve been together for so long. Do you expect me to believe you two whom I’ve never met and don’t have any memory of?” Kyungsoo responded, visibly angrier.

“Look, we mean no harm,” Baekhyun held both of his hands up defensively, “Just listen to us, alright? The life you lead now is not the one that really belongs to you. Yes, your name is Kyungsoo but no you never were Chanyeol’s husband. In fact, the two of you were hardly even friends before this. You went missing over a year ago and we even thought you died but we couldn’t believe it, not until we found the evidence to prove it. We decided to look for you again one last time which led us here. We believe Chanyeol is just using you to further his own endeavors.”

“No, you’re lying,” Kyungsoo argued, “Chanyeol has never hurt or treated me badly. Neither have any idea what you are talking about.”

“Just give us a chance to prove it to you,” Jongdae expressed, distraught at Kyungsoo’s disbelief.

“I don’t need to give people like you a second of my time,” Kyungsoo stood his ground, “Chanyeol warned me about dark magicians like you who might try to lead me astray with lies and then hurt me.”

“Kyungsoo, we would never even dream of hurting you and we can prove everything to you,” Baekhyun claimed, defensively.

“No!” Kyungsoo vehemently refused, saying it out loud.

 

 

Before either Baekhyun or Jongdae could say a word further to prove their point, Kyungsoo had summoned two earth walls that rose out of the ground, breaking through the asphalt, which barricaded himself from both Baekhyun and Jongdae.

Kyungsoo didn’t wait for them to react or do something about it because he broke into another sprint, running as far as his legs could carry him while throwing small spells behind him to thwart off his would be chasers.

 

Kyungsoo ran as far as he could, taking diversions into back alleys and waiting there until he was sure that he wasn’t followed. Only when he was sure of that did Kyungsoo finally return to the shop where Chanyeol was already waiting for him.

Chanyeol didn’t seem to know anything was wrong, not until Kyungsoo came rushing into the shop and immediately threw himself onto Chanyeol, almost in tears.

 

“They were after me today!” Kyungsoo cried into Chanyeol’s shoulder, “The dark magicians you talked about. There were two of them! One said his name was Baekhyun and the other was Jongdae. Baekhyun is a sorcerer but I’m not sure what Jongdae is.”

“How did they manage to find you? What happened to the concealment spell?” Chanyeol worried, “Did they follow you here?”

“I don’t know anything. They say they knew who I really am but nothing they said makes sense even though I get this feeling like I’m supposed to know what they’re talking about,” Kyungsoo replied, “-and no, I made sure they didn’t follow me here.”

“Did they say anything else to you? About me or about you?” Chanyeol continued to drill Kyungsoo with questions, seemingly alarmed and worried about something.

“They just said what I told you,” Kyungsoo repeated, seemingly baffled at something which he promptly brought up, “Aren’t you going to ask me how I am? Why are you not worried about me instead of these people were the ones who attacked me a year ago?”

“No, of course not,” Chanyeol was now defensive as he placed his hands on Kyungsoo’s shoulders, “I am worried about you for sure. I just needed to make sure that everything is safe first because I don’t want it to happen again. You know I love you, Kyungsoo.”

“Yeah…,” Kyungsoo muttered, trailing off.

 

Chanyeol went in for a hug, which Kyungsoo accepted. Chanyeol stroked Kyungsoo on the back of his head, shushing him and letting Kyungsoo know that everything was alright now, wanting to make Kyungsoo feel as safe as possible.

But despite all the physical and verbal reassurance he was given, no matter how much he actually still believed Chanyeol, Kyungsoo could not shake off the feeling that something just wasn’t right with his life at the moment.

Even though nothing appeared “wrong” per se, Kyungsoo felt like that there was just something more going on, further than what he could see.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Following the run-in with Baekhyun and Jongdae, Chanyeol closed up the shop for at least a week, hiding away with Kyungsoo in their German countryside home.

Chanyeol always seemed wary of something, Kyungsoo observed. Chanyeol would draw all the curtains shut, use magic to seal all their doors and wouldn’t even let the nymphs and helper fairies enter the house.

Kyungsoo wasn’t allowed to walk near the windows and Chanyeol would insist on accompanying him when he was gardening outside, where he was even limited the time to do so whatnot with Chanyeol constantly rushing him to get back inside.

 

The perimeter around their house was relatively safe as to non-magicians; the place would appear as a thick and impassable forested area while in reality, it was actually their cozy home in the middle of a green plain.

Initially, Kyungsoo seemed to understand Chanyeol’s constant worry and fear. It seemed plausible that Chanyeol would be worried over Kyungsoo’s safety whatnot with the alleged attack upon him that left Kyungsoo severely injured over a year ago.

But when Kyungsoo asked if Baekhyun and Jongdae were the ones responsible for it, Chanyeol did not directly deny nor affirm it. He simply told Kyungsoo that they were dangerous and not the type of magicians he wanted Kyungsoo to be around with.

Kyungsoo accepted that explanation at first but he did soon begin questioning a few things.

 

 

 

While he was stuck at home, supposedly hiding away from the dark magicians with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo had a lot of time to think about it especially when he wasn’t allowed to do the things he often did to spend the time with.

Whenever Kyungsoo tried to recall Baekhyun and Jongdae’s face, tried to remember the wafting smell of burning hair in the air at the time, he was hit by a stabbing pain in his head that was centered at the back of his eye sockets.

 

Chanyeol had told Kyungsoo that when he was attacked, he had been injured in the eyes and Kyungsoo didn’t find it hard to believe or reason why it hurt now.

Then, when Kyungsoo tried to remember the alleged attack upon him from over a year ago, he began asking himself why Chanyeol’s face surrounded by the falling pink blossoms was the only thing he last remembered? Why was it not the faces of the dark magicians who had supposedly attacked him instead of Chanyeol’s?

 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t doubt what Chanyeol had told him. He accepted Chanyeol’s explanation and merely thought that the loss of his memories had jumbled up his recollection of the events.

Kyungsoo wanted to root for and believe Chanyeol, wanted to be on his husband’s side but he couldn’t help but wonder and start to ask questions especially regarding who it was that really attacked him and for what reasons exactly?

If it really was Jongdae and Baekhyun, then what were their motives at trying to get Kyungsoo away from Chanyeol?

           

 

 

While they were in their countryside home one late afternoon, Chanyeol was supposedly locked away in his study as usual. Kyungsoo had been preparing the food without the help of the helper fairies whom Chanyeol had all sent away, saying that he didn’t trust them because they could be working for some other magician too.

Kyungsoo had initially just wanted to go up to Chanyeol’s study and tell the latter that the food was ready. Halfway there, Kyungsoo also decided to ask Chanyeol the few questions that had been bugging him as of late.

 

Kyungsoo walked up to the door of Chanyeol’s study and knocked on the door several times, calling out loud for Chanyeol. However, no response came and Kyungsoo discovered that door was unlocked.

Making his way into Chanyeol’s study, Kyungsoo continued calling out for his husband only to find out that he wasn’t there at all.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo folded his arms over his chest, pressing his lips together as he leaned his lower back against the edge of the desk as he tried to think of where Chanyeol could be. Had Chanyeol left to go to the shop by himself? Did he go out on a job without telling Kyungsoo?

Kyungsoo didn’t think that any of the possible scenarios were the case because they were supposed to still be on high alert and precaution because of the recent run-in with Baekhyun and Jongdae.

  
Chanyeol’s pen and spell books which could flip its own pages through magic was still left open and randomly flipping through pages all over the desks. The glowing rocks encased in small glass cases used for summoning specific creatures were also sprawled on the desk as they usually were.

The only thing seemingly missing was Chanyeol himself. 

 

 

Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder and behind him at the mess that was Chanyeol’s desk. Chanyeol’s study was the only place that Kyungsoo hardly went to, where the helper fairies weren’t allowed to go into and clean up either.

Chanyeol was a bit secretive and prudish about what it is he did inside there and it never occurred in Kyungsoo to ask why either.

Kyungsoo accepted that they had been married for a while and known each other for long. So, surely he would know what it is Chanyeol often did even if he had no memories of it. Hence, why Kyungsoo just didn’t feel like asking what was supposed to known and obvious.

 

 

As Kyungsoo was looking towards Chanyeol’s desk, he noticed a small wooden box placed underneath the piles of spell books. Kyungsoo had never seen nor remembered of this book.

Curious to know what it was, Kyungsoo removed the box from beneath the books and pulled it out to observe. The box was sealed shut with magic but it didn’t take Kyungsoo a few more seconds to chant a reverse spell that would unlock it.

Kyungsoo may have lost his memories and couldn’t even remember what kind of spells or summons he was capable of but he still retained the knowledge of basic and simple spells such as that. Whatever it was Chanyeol had put in the box, he didn’t seem like he was trying too hard to hide it.

 

 

The moment Kyungsoo opened the lid of the box; he could already sense the presence of magic and the smell of it arising. This certain magic didn’t smell awful like that of burning hair from when he encountered Baekhyun and Jongdae. It actually smelled comforting like the aroma of a pine wood candle burning.

In the small box just slightly bigger than the breadth of his palm, Kyungsoo found the petals of a red flower of varying sizes. It appeared that the magic in the box was to preserve the petals that he found in there.

 

When Kyungsoo held up one petal to have a closer look of it, he was reminded of the red camellia flowers he had planted during the winter. Kyungsoo could remember how important the symbol of a camellia was to magicians so he didn’t think much of it then.

For all he knew, Chanyeol could just be collecting the petals of a red camellia and there was no harm in that.

 

 

Kyungsoo doubted that theory almost immediately when Chanyeol returned, entering his study looking absolutely haggard with pale sunken cheeks, weary eyes and his shoulders hunched forward.

Chanyeol was wiping his mouth with a handkerchief when he entered, immediately going still in surprise when he saw Kyungsoo standing there in the study. Kyungsoo had closed the box and put it away before Chanyeol saw him.

He was going to ask about other things but that intention was quickly canceled when Chanyeol began to cough, cupping the handkerchief over his mouth. In between the coughs, Chanyeol was seemingly choking on something in his throat, which made him retch several times.

 

“Chanyeol, are you alright!?” Kyungsoo rushed to Chanyeol’s side.

“No, don’t come closer,” Chanyeol put out a hand to stop Kyungsoo from coming closer to him as he shook his head and continued to cough into the handkerchief.

Kyungsoo was worried sick for Chanyeol and wanted to help but was actually prevented from doing so by the very man he wanted to assist.

“Are you still sick from the last time?” Kyungsoo asked, exasperatedly.

Chanyeol only nodded back, refusing to make eye-contact and keeping his distance from Kyungsoo with his mouth still covered by the handkerchief.

“Do you want me to do anything to help?” Kyungsoo continued to ask, hoping for a proper answer at least.

“No, I’m fine. It’s alright,” Chanyeol spoke from behind the handkerchief, “Just leave me for now.”

 

 

Kyungsoo was reluctant but he complied nonetheless, leaving Chanyeol alone in his study like he was told to do so, still partially believing that Chanyeol’s sickness was a somewhat contagious thing.

When Kyungsoo had left, Chanyeol closed and locked the door to his study and only then removed the handkerchief from over his mouth.

 

There, in the handkerchief were a few spots of blood, several petals and almost half of a flower that was undoubtedly a red camellia. The flower which had grown in Chanyeol’s lungs had not fully formed yet but it was almost there like a gradually ticking countdown to his demise.

 

 

 

When Chanyeol finally left his study that evening, he was met by the sight of Kyungsoo sobbing while leaning forward against the kitchen counter.

Kyungsoo had his back turned to Chanyeol and was very obviously trying to keep his voice down and be quiet as possible, not wanting Chanyeol to know what was going on. Kyungsoo was upset about something and he was trying to hide that from Chanyeol.

 

Chanyeol, however, saw that and one of the nymphs atop the kitchen counter, rubbing Kyungsoo comfortingly on the arm. Kyungsoo had always been rather close with the nymphs and personally knew each and every one of them, unlike Chanyeol who maintained a strict master-servant relationship with the said creatures.

In fact, Kyungsoo was already breaking Chanyeol’s instructions of not letting the nymphs inside the house for the time being. But Chanyeol wasn’t too anal about it actually, especially when seeing Kyungsoo in such a state.

 

 

Kyungsoo hadn’t noticed Chanyeol there yet but the nymph did. Upon seeing Chanyeol and knowing it wasn’t allowed in the house, the nymph vanished in thin air and Kyungsoo was thus alerted of Chanyeol’s presence.

Kyungsoo scampered to wipe his tears with the sleeve of his shirt, blinking rapidly, hoping that it would lessen his swollen and reddened eyes as a result of the crying.

 

“Kyungsoo, are you alright?” Chanyeol questioned, stepping up to and standing behind Kyungsoo, looking over the other’s shoulder.

“I-I’m fine,” Kyungsoo stammered, sniffling and purposely avoiding his face away from Chanyeol.

“Don’t lie to me, Kyungsoo. I know you have been crying. What made you so upset?” Chanyeol continued to ask, resting a hand on Kyungsoo’s upper arm.

Kyungsoo was silent for a moment before he finally racked up the nerve to answer, “Don’t worry about me, Chanyeol, for I am fine. What about you though? I’ve noticed how lethargic you’re becoming as of late and you don’t seem well either. Is there something you’re not telling me? You know I’m worried about you and I don’t like being kept in the dark like this.”

“I am fine, Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol assured, holding onto Kyungsoo’s arm firmly, “Nothing is wrong with me. It’s probably the stress and the side effects of me pushing myself so hard because of the things I still have to deal with.”

“Like the dark wizard, Gremory, whom you failed to defeat? And those two; Baekhyun and Jongdae?” Kyungsoo turned around to face Chanyeol, gazing upwards to look at Chanyeol.

“Yes,” Chanyeol half-lied, “Even though Gremory doesn’t work together with Baekhyun and Jongdae, they’re dangerous and who knows when they might next come after us. They hurt you, Kyungsoo, and I don’t want that to happen again. Which is why I have to protect both of us and probably why it’s taking a toll on me. I cannot rest until this is dealt with.”

“Then let’s do something about it!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, now gripping onto both of Chanyeol’s arms, “The both of us together could probably take them down. You have my blood and we can use the blood magic to summon the strongest creatures or even a demon. Let’s end this once and for all so we can finally live free and happily together.”

 

Chanyeol smiled a little. He did admit how happy he was to hear such a thing coming out from Kyungsoo, despite knowing that this façade would inevitably end in crumbles one day.

Even though their being together was fake, Chanyeol knew his love for Kyungsoo was very much real and he even had the physical suffering of the Hanahaki disease to prove it.

“Yes,” Chanyeol agreed, pulling Kyungsoo into an intimate embrace, letting Kyungsoo rest his head on Chanyeol’s shoulders. “We will do something about it. We’ll take them down so we can be free and happy together.”

And Chanyeol was also determined to make sure that he lived out the last of his days in the best way he could alongside the first person he had learned to love in so many years. And that person is Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo prepared for the day they were set out to take down Baekhyun and Jongdae because Kyungsoo had really believed that they were out for him and Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo didn’t remember how he used to actually be good friends and allies with the two, now believing Chanyeol’s lies that they were threats to his peaceful life that had to be eliminated at all costs.

 

 

The antique shop reopened soon after and they were vigilant throughout, watching out for even the slightest presence of Baekhyun and Jongdae.

Neither Kyungsoo nor Chanyeol slept for the weeks to come. When they weren’t busy working in the antique shop, they were reading through generally forbidden and dangerous spell books, learning how to further hone and empower their blood magic.

This was what Chanyeol had wanted all along and when he finally got to it, he felt ever the guiltier for Kyungsoo who remained oblivious towards the fact. It was certainly not how Chanyeol expected to feel at all but he already accepted that this was the price of his mistakes and how his punishment was the Hanahaki disease he believed he deserved to have.

 

 

 

Chanyeol began sending out Kyungsoo on delivery errands and chores alike around the district but with a concealment spell on him to hide his real identity of course.

Chanyeol didn’t worry about that part too much because he knew non-magicians who made up the vast majority of Seoul were not able to tell that apart and actually find out that it was Kyungsoo. The magicians they were trying to lure out, Baekhyun and Jongdae, particular would be able to see over that farce, however.

 

Kyungsoo made sure to follow a set routine of when he would be outside and regarding which paths he would take.

Their aim was to continue their lives as per usual while also luring Baekhyun and Jongdae into a setup they had planned for. Because the more Kyungsoo was outside, the more it exposed him to the chances of running into Baekhyun and Jongdae again, knowing they were keeping tabs on Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

On a night in early autumn, after over a month of trying to lure out Baekhyun and Jongdae, Kyungsoo and Chanyeol finally succeeded in doing so.

On a routine journey that involved Kyungsoo passing through a park behind a convention center almost every evening, Baekhyun and Jongdae appeared to ambush him like Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had expected they would eventually do.

Kyungsoo knew he had been watched in the past few weeks while he was on the route. All he had to was to continue taking the route and wait until they would come out of hiding and reveal themselves, so he and Chanyeol could finally do what they had planned for.

 

 

It wasn’t that late at night but the park that surrounded the perimeter of the convention center was always quiet unless there was an event taking place in the building, which happened to be none at the time.

The park had brick pathways, thick trees and bushes alongside with rather dingy lightings especially in the dark of night. It was a cool, clear and windless night in early autumn where the moon was obscured behind the clouds.

The place was also rather far from a residential area and closer to a commercial area which was deserted at this time of the day.

The location had been scouted out solely for that purpose and Baekhyun and Jongdae had unknowingly been lure into the trap.

 

 

Down the brick pathway, Kyungsoo had been walking down every evening for a month with his hands tucked into the pockets of his hoodie, he only pretended to be shocked when he saw Baekhyun and Jongdae’s figures blocking his path ahead.

“What do you two want now?” Kyungsoo hissed, taking a defensive stance, “-here to feed me more of your lies and delusions?”

“It’s because you still think that what we said are lies and delusions is the reason we are here today,” Jongdae firmly stated.

“We’re your friends and we’re just here to help if you’re willing to listen to us out,” Baekhyun added, raising his hands up seemingly to imply that he meant no harm.

“I have no intentions to waste even a second of my time listening to those who intend to tear me and Chanyeol apart,” Kyungsoo defended.

“Then we have no choice but to just take you by force and make you listen,” Baekhyun asserted, nodding his head at Jongdae as they attempted to close in on Kyungsoo.

“Don’t worry; we don’t intend to hurt you. We just need to undo whatever it is Chanyeol had put on you to erase your memories,” Jongdae was seemingly trying to assure.

 

 

Kyungsoo moved backward slowly, step by step, distancing himself from Baekhyun and Jongdae who were approaching him closer by the second as they continued to assure Kyungsoo that they meant no harm.

This was part of the intention all along. Kyungsoo was trying to lure them onto a magic circle Chanyeol had prepared on the ground. Every day for almost a month, Kyungsoo had been walking this same path every evening, waiting for Baekhyun and Jongdae and the right time to finally activate the magic circle.

 

Over a month ago, Kyungsoo with the help of his magic and some summons had dug out all the earth, grass, and even the brick pathway on the ground in the park. In the soil, he had planted a magic circle before putting everything back together with magic to hide it, making it appear as if it was untouched from the very beginning.

Once Kyungsoo knew he was outside the diameter of the magic circle in the ground, he immediately put out a hand with his palm facing to the ground and quickly muttered a short incantation to activate the magic circle.

 

 

Baekhyun and Jongdae almost immediately noticed what Kyungsoo was trying to do when he began chanting and when they saw where his hand was directed towards.

They knew Kyungsoo was about to cast a spell but they weren’t sure which, although they knew it was mostly going to be on the ground because of Kyungsoo’s palm pointing that way.

They had barely enough time to react and not especially against Kyungsoo because everyone who knew Kyungsoo and his contributions to the magical society would know the great extent of his potential.

 

 

 

The spell was cast and several beams of rods of golden light emerged from the ground, rising up into the air at least ten feet above before joining each other and forming a birdcage-like appearance to trap Kyungsoo and Jongdae in.

“Shit,” Jongdae swore, frantically looking around and at Baekhyun who was stunned and rendered silent at the trap they had unknowingly walked into.

“Calm down and don’t touch anything. It’ll burn you off,” Baekhyun hushed, gazing up at the cage made of light, the golden hue reflected in his dark brown eyes, knowing it wouldn’t be easy to break out from there.

 

Kyungsoo remained standing a few feet from the cage in silence and looking on at them as Chanyeol revealed himself, unveiling himself from behind the cloaking spell.

“I knew it would be you, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun calmly mentioned from behind the light bars of the cage that could peel the skin off of him if he so much as grazed against it.

Jongdae was bewildered but he wasn’t surprised either.

“I don’t want to see the both of you around here or around us anymore,” Chanyeol threatened, summoning a ball of fire through his palms which he maintained burning as if to scare Baekhyun and Jongdae with.

“That’s rich coming from the person who kidnapped Kyungsoo. I don’t know what the hell it is you did to him and for what reasons but I warn that this won’t end well for you,” Baekhyun warned, coming off as concerned instead.

“What you’re doing is wrong, Chanyeol!” Jongdae butted in, “If Kyungsoo finds out-“

 

 

Before Jongdae could finish his sentence, Chanyeol had cast another spell to call upon a deadly Chimera summon, which was easily the size of an elephant and was only limited to users of blood magic.

The Chimera which Chanyeol was in the process of summoning was emerging from beneath Jongdae and Baekhyun’s feet, it’s sharp and deadly claws appearing and breaking through from a crack in the ground that was widening by the second. Its glistening red eyes could already be seen glowing from the depths of the earth below them where light couldn’t reach.

 

The ground under their feet shook and pulsed at the Chimera’s attempt to emerge from being summoned. Both Baekhyun and Jongdae were almost thrown into and narrowly missed the bars of light when they ground beneath them shifted, throwing them off balance.

“We don’t wish to harm you,” Baekhyun tried to negotiate, holding his hand out as if he were about to start a spell too, struggling to keep himself up and steady.

“What you’re doing is harming me and my husband, Kyungsoo. You’re telling him lies just because he lost his memories so you can manipulate and use him,” Chanyeol retorted at Baekhyun.

“He’s not your husband,” Jongdae pointed out, “-and besides, isn’t that what you’re trying to do yourself!?”

“I will have nothing of this. You two obviously need to be taught a lesson so you’ll stay out from our hairs,” Chanyeol insisted, looking over his shoulder at Kyungsoo who was quiet the entire time.

 

 

Kyungsoo pricked his finger with his canine tooth, dripping the drops of blood onto Chanyeol’s hand, who resumed incanting the spell to finally finish summoning the Chimera and bring it into the material world.

Baekhyun quickly dropped himself to the ground, pressing both palms to the ground and began quickly incanting a reverse spell to counter Chanyeol’s, disrupting the Chimera summoning process. At this point, it was evident that Baekhyun was a sorcerer specializing in ridding summons of other sorcerers.

 

While Baekhyun was busy trying to secure his and Jongdae’s safety, Jongdae knew he had to take action too and cast a spell that exploded as a blinding and piercing flash of light, even though he knew that neither he nor Baekhyun would be immune to it.

The force and the blinding light from Jongdae’s spell were enough to cause even Chanyeol and Kyungsoo to lose their concentration, which was needed to upkeep an active spell such as the ones in use.

 

 

Baekhyun was thrown back into the light rods of the cage as it was breaking away when Kyungsoo fell to the ground, having lost his focus and concentration because of Jongdae’s flash spell.  Chanyeol’s summoning spell was also canceled at the same time when the flash threw him to the ground several meters back, passing out momentarily from the impact.

Jongdae managed to catch Baekhyun in time before he fell completely into the light rods before it disappeared. However, Baekhyun’s back had slightly grazed against the light rods, scalding the surface of his skin and burning through the shirt he had been wearing.

“We have to go now,” Jongdae growled, helping Baekhyun to his feet.

“No, wait,” Baekhyun, who was about to pass out from the pain anytime struggled to say, “-kyungsoo. We need to help him.”

“That can wait. He’s strong so he’ll be fine, we need to help ourselves first,” Jongdae stressed, helping a limp Baekhyun away from the scene before Chanyeol and Kyungsoo could regain their composure enough to start attacking them again.

 

 

Kyungsoo got up in time before Baekhyun and Jongdae were able to flee. He stretched his arm out as the two were attempting to make a run for it. Kyungsoo was about to cast a spell that would create spheres of energy from his palms, which he could then hurl onto the fleeing Baekhyun and Jongdae to cause damage.

Kyungsoo finished the incantation in a few seconds and the orange-yellow spheres of energy were forming around his palms, ready for him to cast any moment. However, Kyungsoo was caught off guard by the scent of the magic which was coming from him.

It was enough for him to lower his fists and simply watch as Baekhyun and Jongdae disappeared from sight, successfully running away.

 

 

There were several lingering scents of magic in the air. Chanyeol’s was similar to that of burning pinewood meanwhile Baekhyun and Jongdae’s smelled a bit stale like the pages of an old book.

And Kyungsoo’s smelled like searing, burning hair from a person’s scalp. Kyungsoo was stunned and confused to find out about this. This only meant that the smell of burning hair he encountered in the tunnel from previously was his own and not that of Baekhyun and Jongdae’s.

 

 

Kyungsoo didn’t have the opportunity to mull on it when Chanyeol slowly came to, after being knocked out towards the ground by Jongdae’s flash spell. Kyungsoo immediately rushed to Chanyeol’s side.

“Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol exclaimed, pressing a hand to his pounding forehead, “Are you alright? Where are they?”

“They ran but yeah I’m alright,” Kyungsoo answered, helping Chanyeol sit up on the ground, “We caused quite a commotion. We have to go before the non-magicians find out about us.”

Chanyeol grunted, still holding a hand to his head, “Those bastards. We’ll get them next time.”

“They’re gone now. Forget it. Let’s just go,” Kyungsoo urged, helping pull Chanyeol up, just wanting to get out of there as soon as possible.

 

On the way back to their home in Germany through their shop in Seoul, Chanyeol continued cursing and complaining about the whole ordeal, although he did gloat that they had probably “scared” Baekhyun and Jongdae enough to not come after them anymore.

Kyungsoo didn’t talk much and merely nodded along to Chanyeol rambling about it because there was a lot more on his mind that still boggled him.

 

 

Those who began to use blood magic would notice how the scent of their magic would change into that of something ominous and bad. Chanyeol’s magic scent remained untainted as it wasn’t his blood that was used for the forbidden magic, although he reaped the benefits of using it from the loophole he exploited.

Kyungsoo couldn’t remember if his magic always smelled like burning hair or if it only started since he began giving his blood for Chanyeol to use. He had barely any memories of it to go by and for some reasons; he didn’t want to ask Chanyeol about it either because Kyungsoo felt like he might receive an answer shrouded in lies instead.

 

Judging from the neutral scent of Baekhyun and Jongdae’s magic, it didn’t seem like they were using blood magic either. Kyungsoo had not seen them use any form of blood magic in the two encounters they had with each other now.

Therefore, Kyungsoo began to question Chanyeol’s claim that Baekhyun and Jongdae were dark magicians who wished to hurt them. They never seemed to want to attack first either, merely defending themselves against Kyungsoo and Chanyeol who had been the assaulters instead.

 

 

Kyungsoo also began to question if perhaps what they said to him were true; especially the parts where they claimed he was never married to Chanyeol and how he was merely being used by the latter.

Maybe that would explain why Kyungsoo always felt off and somewhat odd about Chanyeol and his supposed memories, especially when he first woke up from his coma. Back then, it felt like he had just gotten to know Chanyeol, despite how Chanyeol claimed that they knew each other for so long. 

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

It was hard for Kyungsoo tried to suppress his feelings and suspicion towards Chanyeol for the sake of maintaining their “happy marriage”, which he even doubted to be real now because of what Baekhyun and Jongdae had told him.

Baekhyun and Jongdae’s words and their voice resonated in his memory, clearer than any other supposed memory Kyungsoo had which Chanyeol said to be true.

 

Somehow, he felt an odd sense of comfort and familiarity towards Baekhyun and Jongdae, despite how much Chanyeol said that they were his enemies. Maybe, Baekhyun and Jongdae were really his friends and Chanyeol was the enemy instead like they claimed.

Even if they were lying, Kyungsoo didn’t feel like they had bad intentions and was eager to know their true purpose at telling him at all these even it wasn’t true.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

While Chanyeol was away on a house call to rid of the usual annoying house spirits, Kyungsoo was left alone in the shop one mid-autumn afternoon.

Before Chanyeol had left the shop, he had warned Kyungsoo to stay indoors, behind all the protective magic barriers set around the shop’s perimeter.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t listen, however, because he saw it as the perfect opportunity for him to investigate whether Chanyeol was really lying to him.

Kyungsoo wanted to believe Chanyeol so badly but his gut feelings and the evidence he had seemed to say otherwise. Kyungsoo wasn’t the type of person to want to live in a delusion either, even if the truth would hurt him more and he was admittedly feeling ever more comfortable with Chanyeol.

 

 

Kyungsoo slipped out of the shop, wearing just his red hoodie to obscure his appearance, going out without the concealment spell that Chanyeol always insisted for him to have whenever he went out.

Kyungsoo used to believe that it was to protect him but now it only seemed suspicious and rather incriminating to Chanyeol’s case of allegedly kidnapping and making Kyungsoo believe he was someone else he was not.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo walked down the sidewalk of shop buildings in the vicinity and the surrounding blocks of the antique shop. Despite how close it was to the shop, Kyungsoo never came around here nor remembered coming down to this area.

In Kyungsoo’s memory, it felt like the first time he was exploring the terrain but his feelings seemed to say that he knew this place very well as the back of his hand.

 

Already used to being discreet and on the low, Kyungsoo kept his head down and avoided eye contact with anyone he passed by during his walk.

Although, it didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to end up in front of the florist’s he used to work at but didn’t remember of.

 

 

Kyungsoo never failed to recognize the scent of flowers which he loved. Kyungsoo smiled to himself when he lifted his head to look and then realized that he was standing in front of the florists.

The flowers were beautiful and of various kinds; ranging from the reddest of roses to the yellowiest of sunflowers. Kyungsoo was rather excited to find out that there was actually a florist within the area.

There was a young woman with her long black hair in a low ponytail, wearing an apron and gloves, fixing the flowers in the vase on display at the store window. She was diligently working and didn’t notice Kyungsoo at first, among all the other people walking and moving about outside the store.

 

Seeing that they seemed to share a similar passion with flowers, Kyungsoo was deciding on entering the shop to talk to the young woman about it when she moved her gaze from the flowers to look outside the window and spotted him there.

The woman appeared confused at first, scrunching her eyebrows and squinting her eyes as she scrutinized Kyungsoo through the store window. When she seemed to recognize Kyungsoo, the woman dropped her gardening scissors and quickly rushed to the door, swinging it open as the bell above it rang and rushed out onto the streets.

 

 

She stood face to face with Kyungsoo, shorter than him and was gushing; looking both scared and excited, “Kyungsoo! Is that you!?”

“What?” Kyungsoo blurted out, confused, “How do you know my name? I don’t know you.”

“Kyungsoo, it’s me, Jihyun! You worked here with me for over two years until you went missing in spring last year. Don’t you remember me?” The woman named Jihyun continued to say and jumped into a hug, “We- everyone thought you were dead. Where were you? We were so worried. Where have you been?”

“-but I have never met you. H-how do you know-“ Kyungsoo stuttered, not hugging Jihyun back but not stopping her either because of the feeling of familiarity that was present in that situation too, despite not having memories of having ever met or known her.

 

Kyungsoo agreed to come inside the shop to talk to Jihyun, who claimed to be his former co-worker and a florist just like Kyungsoo was too.

Kyungsoo actually began to feel scared when Jihyun said that he went missing over a year and a half ago, believed to be kidnapped or worse- killed. Jihyun mentioned that she had tried to look for him too and had to give up when the authorities of the district said that there was no evidence to lead them to answer Kyungsoo’s disappearance.

Of course, if magic was involved, the regular humans without magic powers would not be able to do anything about it.

 

Jihyun made tea for Kyungsoo and showed him pictures of them together wearing the shop’s uniform-apron, posing with the flowers they had grown and arranged. Kyungsoo knew magicians could fabricate photos easily but Jihyun wasn’t one and if the pictures were real and he really knew her, then why did Chanyeol never say anything about it?

Jihyun was hardly a threat, unlike Baekhyun or Jongdae. The way she spoke to Kyungsoo was alike the way two old friends who knew each other would. In fact, Kyungsoo felt more comfortable talking to her for the first time unlike when he first saw Chanyeol after waking up from the coma, even when he was supposed to know Chanyeol for years.

What was Chanyeol trying to hide actually by not telling him about Jihyun and the florist shop? What if the pictures of him and Chanyeol together hung in their house were actually the fabricated ones?

 

 

When Jihyun picked up her phone and said that she was going to call the police to report about finding Kyungsoo, he panicked and ran out of the store, leaving her high strung and confused.

Kyungsoo quickly returned to the antique shop, arriving just some minutes before Chanyeol and never told the latter about what he had found out.

Chanyeol never suspected nor found about it either.

 

Kyungsoo never left the antique shop without the use of the concealment spell after that. He wasn’t afraid of someone else potentially recognizing him. He was just afraid of what more he’d discover about Chanyeol which would affect his relationship with his “husband”.

Frankly, Kyungsoo didn’t know if he was ready to uncover such truth because he had been somewhat deluded of this routine comfort he felt with Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo was unable to remember a life without Chanyeol and he didn’t know if he’d quite like that idea.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

When Chanyeol was asleep for a while or when he wasn’t around to keep an eye, Kyungsoo would take the opportunity to slip out and roam around the downtown surrounding where the antique shop was at.

With the concealment spell active, Kyungsoo didn’t worry about being discovered and potentially feeling perturbed about what else he didn’t know- which seemed to be about mostly everything these days.

 

Kyungsoo took paths and streets he never remembered about but felt unexplainably familiar with. Every day, Kyungsoo walked and went further than he previously got to.

One rainy evening in Seoul while Chanyeol was still asleep in the daytime in Germany, Kyungsoo ended up entering and going up the stairs of an apartment block that felt unexplainably pleasant and welcoming to him.

 

 

The apartment block place felt like home and Kyungsoo wasn’t even controlling his own movements, letting his body move and his feet walk as if they were autonomous.

Kyungsoo even found himself walking down the warm lit hallway of the apartment block, down the corridor of closed doors where he could hear the chatter of the tenants and the sound of the television turned on from inside the individual units.

 

Kyungsoo stopped in front of a particular apartment unit with the number “0407” on the plaque hung on the front of the door. The door was locked and it didn’t seem like there was anyone else inside either.

There was nothing special about this place. There were tens of apartment blocks similar to this with the same layout but yet this place felt inviting and like home to Kyungsoo, unlike the others. Which led Kyungsoo to wonder if he perhaps lived here too once?

To what extent of his previous life did Kyungsoo forget and to what extent was Chanyeol lying to him? Kyungsoo didn’t care what Chanyeol’s motives were at this point because he just wanted to know who he really was.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo found himself walking past the said apartment block almost every evening while Chanyeol was going into his fifth day of being asleep. The second time Kyungsoo went there, he found out that there were a mother and her daughter now living in the apartment which Kyungsoo believed belonged to him before.

 

Going out and about in a city he was supposed to know but yet didn’t felt so strange to Kyungsoo. It actually bothered him but it was better to sit around and do nothing while Chanyeol was still asleep.

Because every step Kyungsoo took further on his own led him closer to answer the question of who he really was. He now knew where he used to work at and where he used to live at, although many more questions remained unanswered.

 

 

 

It was late fall by then and almost winter. The weather had been chilly and rather dry. It hadn’t snowed yet that year but it didn’t seem to rain in the past few weeks either.

The days were getting shorter and the fall foliage on the trees was also shedding, leaving the trees bare for the incoming cold season.

 

It was only late afternoon but the sky was already getting dark with tinges of orange streaked across the clouds as the sun was setting.

Kyungsoo was walking on the sidewalk beside a playground opposite from the apartment buildings he had been visiting every day for almost a week now.

 

 

The playgrounds were already empty and so were the swings and slides that children would play on. Kyungsoo would have almost missed the presence of another magician there if he hadn’t stopped to look twice at the wooden bench under a tree in the park.

It was someone he didn’t expect to see but could actually be useful to talk to; Baekhyun.

 

Kyungsoo expected to feel intimidated but he felt strangely comfortable enough to stride up to Baekhyun, who was sitting on the bench with a blank expression as his gaze was fixed to the ground. It felt almost as if he was just going up to talk to an old friend.

Baekhyun didn’t move his head, only his eyes when he saw Kyungsoo blocking his view by standing in front of him. Baekhyun appeared unfazed and not even the slightest bit bothered by Kyungsoo’s appearance there despite the circumstances of their previous encounter.

 

 

“Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo called, “That’s your name isn’t it?”

“Indeed,” was all Baekhyun said in response, in an almost bored fashion.

“Are you alone? Where’s Jongdae? Isn’t he always with you?” Kyungsoo asked gently, “How have you been? You were injured the last time I saw you.”

“-no thanks to you, of course, but I’m alright now and Jongdae isn’t here. He’s resting so I decided to go out and have some time alone,” Baekhyun answered, continuing to sound uninterested.

“I see. I’m alone too right now because Chanyeol has been asleep for a few days now,” Kyungsoo revealed.

“I know,” Baekhyun peered up at Kyungsoo, “I don’t sense him around here not unless he’s hiding behind some invisibility spell again. He seems to like to do that. Does he specialize in stealth magic or what?”

“I have some questions I need to ask you,” Kyungsoo quickly got straight to the point, unconsciously balling his fists up out of nervousness.

“What is it?” Baekhyun raised an eyebrow, seemingly a bit interested now.

 “Do you and Jongdae actually know me?” Kyungsoo questioned, “You said you were my friends but I don’t seem to remember you. Is what you told me true?”

“I don’t gain anything from lying to you, unlike Chanyeol does. So yes, we are- or rather were- friends and we knew you quite well for hundreds of years actually,” Baekhyun replied, tucking his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“Then you know who I am!” Kyungsoo said loudly, “-don’t you?”

“-perhaps I did,” Baekhyun responded, crossing his ankles over each other, lifting his head up to look at Kyungsoo.

“So who am I actually?” Kyungsoo asked, still clenching his fist and moving one step forward towards Baekhyun sitting on the bench.

Baekhyun continued glaring at Kyungsoo silently, not blinking even once before he continued talking again, “Well, what do you know about that?”

“-not much really,” Kyungsoo confessed, “I just remember waking up in the summer of last year after a few months in a coma because I got attacked, or that’s what Chanyeol told me. I have memories of the past year but everything before that is a blur and seems so unreal to me. It’s like the memories I had of prior to that weren’t even mine.”

“I see,” Baekhyun muttered, running his fingers through his dark brown bangs covering over his forehead, “Well, are you happy with the life you have now?”

“Of course! Why wouldn’t I be? This is the only life I have and can remember…even though I’m starting to doubt it. But it doesn’t change the fact that I am happy and content being married to Chanyeol and all. I know my feelings are real even though this may not be. But I just need to know the truth and I was hoping you’d tell me,” Kyungsoo expressed.

“If it’s that way and you wish to continue being happy, then you shouldn’t waste your time asking me questions and finding out who you really are,” Baekhyun sighed, getting up onto his feet, standing face to face with Kyungsoo who was just slightly shorter than him.

“Why!? You said you knew me and were my friend, then why aren’t you telling me anything!?” Kyungsoo raised his voice at Baekhyun who was beginning to walk away from there.

Baekhyun stressed, stopping in his steps, “I have no idea what Chanyeol did or is doing to you but you seem fine and happy, which is why I’m not going to tell you. I can even see it in your eyes how content you are with him. Trust me; you won’t be happy anymore once you find out the truth of who you really are.”

“-but why?” Kyungsoo was baffled even more even at Baekhyun’s explanation, unsatisfied and wanting more information despite the warnings he was just given.

“Right now, even like this, you are the happiest I have seen in years,” Baekhyun pointed his index finger towards Kyungsoo’s chest, “Jongdae and I have been watching you and Chanyeol for months and we say that for sure after knowing you for centuries. You certainly won’t like what you’ll find out if you attempt to dig deeper. Your memories may be jumbled up as you said but I’m sure you remember that first and foremost, we are magicians who have been through hard times like the great war and genocide that have killed a lot of our own. You were never truly happy after the war, no matter how much you lied to us that you were. And as your friend, I want you to be happy even if it means withholding the truth from you.” 

 

 

In the cold and stiff air, Baekhyun continued to walk away from Kyungsoo, his shoes crunching onto the earth beneath him. Kyungsoo’s mouth was half-open, his gaze was directed upward towards the sky which was now more of a dark blue than orange.

Before Baekhyun was out of earshot, Kyungsoo spoke once more without turning to look back at the latter, “Baekhyun, I do remember the war happening from over a century ago. I don’t remember the details but somehow, I just know that I lived through it. Now that you brought it up, I remember that the smell of magic in the air was like that of burning hair. It was my magic, wasn’t it? Who was I really?”

 

 

Baekhyun glanced over his shoulder briefly to look at Kyungsoo before walking away, ignoring and disregarding Kyungsoo’s questions.

 

Leaving Kyungsoo, who remained in the deserted playground for a bit longer as it got even darker, just standing there unable to move as he began to slowly connect two and two together to figure out that he was probably Camellia, the famed dark magician who had fought against the humans and left the air smelling like burning hair for the weeks to come.

Kyungsoo dryly chuckled to himself. All these while, Chanyeol had been using his blood to use blood magic but Kyungsoo had always been a user of it all these while, it seemed.

It was very obvious that Chanyeol didn’t know that Kyungsoo was Camellia. Heck, Chanyeol probably didn’t know jack about Kyungsoo but he was really hoping that Chanyeol did actually know.

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help it. No matter how happy and comfortable he truly felt with his life with Chanyeol, no matter how much he felt like he belonged in Chanyeol’s arms, Kyungsoo could no longer pretend like everything was fine when he had just uncovered an important discovery of his real identity.

Kyungsoo wasn’t too surprised to find out that “Kyungsoo” was really his name and Chanyeol hadn’t bothered to lie and give him a new name. Looking back, Chanyeol didn’t really seem like a good liar.

 

Kyungsoo knew now that he was a dark magician in the field of sorcery and popularly known as “Camellia” during the war.

But all that information barely scratched the surface to answer the questions of who he really was, because Kyungsoo still lacked the most important aspects of his true identity and that was his memories.

Without his memories, he was not the Kyungsoo who was also Camellia. He was just Kyungsoo, a sorcerer who loved gardening and helping his husband out in their antique shop.

 

 

 

In his head, Kyungsoo spent a lot of time thinking and going over the thoughts, although he ceased to actively go out and seek the answers he yearned for. Baekhyun was right, Kyungsoo concurred because he really didn’t like what he found out so far and was afraid of what more lied beyond that.

In front of Chanyeol, he still tried his best to upkeep and maintain the image of a good husband, pretending like there was nothing bothering or troubling him.

 

However, it was proven difficult, even more so when Kyungsoo’s mind began to wonder what it was Chanyeol had really done to him and for what purpose?

Kyungsoo was more disappointed than anything. He had been so happy despite everything and to find out that the life he led was very likely a lie only left him feeling devastated.

Lies were beautiful indeed and Kyungsoo wished he would have just listened to Baekhyun now.

 

Soon enough, even upkeeping that “happy husband” image in front of Chanyeol was proven difficult.

 

 


	3. Camellia

 

Kyungsoo no longer waited for Chanyeol to eat together. He’d eat by himself and leave the food for Chanyeol to have later. Kyungsoo rarely started conversations or made an effort to carry one, merely answering with short sentences if that was needed.

Kyungsoo was already no longer sleeping alongside Chanyeol, letting him sleep alone while he remained awake, sleeping only when Chanyeol was awake again.

When Kyungsoo saw Chanyeol trying to go in for a hug or a kiss, he’d shift and move away before that could even happen. Kyungsoo no longer wished to have sex either, ignoring Chanyeol’s advances and initiation.

 

When Chanyeol approached Kyungsoo to ask for a few drops of blood, he would glare in a judging manner at Chanyeol and hesitate but eventually caved in because he didn’t want to raise suspicions for now.

It was hard to even look at Chanyeol in the eye, least to say to be intimate, because Kyungsoo would be flooded with the thoughts he wished he didn’t have now.

 

And it wasn’t hard or too long before Chanyeol started to notice how Kyungsoo was now keeping a distance from him.

 

 

 

It was most obvious on one dry winter afternoon in January in their home in Germany. Chanyeol was locked up in the washroom with his upper half hunched over the sink, retching and throwing up spots of blood and an almost complete camellia flower into the marble basin.

As he did so, he would feel a sharp stabbing pain in his chest area as the choking feeling rose from his lungs and towards his mouth, before the flowers were spat out from his mouth. It was excruciating and not even the suppressant potions seemed to help much anymore.

Chanyeol never wanted something to end so badly and yet not wish for it to end at the same time. He just wanted to rid of the pain but he wasn’t done living yet. He still wanted to live but his punishment waiting at the end of this suffering was his imminent death and that was for sure.

 

 

Using a simple spell, Chanyeol had cast a shadow onto the mirror above the sink so it wouldn’t reflect his haggard and sick looking face. Chanyeol couldn’t even bear to look at himself in the mirror at this point. It would just make him feel even worse.

Chanyeol picked up one of the camellia flowers, alongside the petals scattered in the bowl of the sink. There were spots of his blood on the petals, blending in with the dark red of the flower almost seamlessly. The flower was almost fully formed, just missing a petal or two from the symmetrical pattern.

Seeing this, Chanyeol knew his end was drawing even closer but yet he couldn’t stop to admire that this was indeed a beautiful flower which held a powerful meaning amongst magicians like him.

 

For a moment, while holding the blood-stained camellias in his palm, Chanyeol pondered if the famous dark magician “Camellia” had really died in the crossfire of the war or if they succumbed to a painful death like the one waiting for him.

The Hanahaki disease did not discriminate among magicians; whether they were good, grey or tended to the dark side, whether they were old or young or whether they were strong or otherwise.

In the end, almost everything could be created, conjured or reversed with magic but not feelings and especially that of love. And unrequited love was so ironically, the only thing keeping the check and balance which prevented magicians from being ridiculously omnipotent in the mortal world.

 

 

 

Chanyeol slipped one of the almost formed camellia flowers into his pocket, wiped off the blood and saliva from his mouth, washed his face to freshen up a little and made sure to rinse and rid the sink clean from the physical evidence of the Hanahaki disease.

The last thing he wanted to do now was to give Kyungsoo the scare of his life if he ever found out about the disease Chanyeol had been trying to hide from him for almost a year now.

Chanyeol first discovered he had the Hanahaki disease on the night before the first day of spring, knowing he’d have a year to live at most after that. Now, the following spring was just a few months away and while he did admit that the flowers Kyungsoo loved were beautiful indeed, it wasn’t more so when they were blooming in his lungs instead.

 

 

For the better or the worse, Chanyeol finally left the washroom after being cooped up in there for over an hour, to find Kyungsoo standing in the corridor just right outside the washroom.

Kyungsoo looked rather unbothered, reading a spell cookbook as he leaned against a wall with his ankles crossed over the other.

 

Chanyeol was stunned, his eyes were round and wide as his hand immediately went into his pocket to make sure the flower was still in there for some reason.

Depending on how long Kyungsoo had been out there, Chanyeol was pretty sure Kyungsoo had overheard retching, coughing fits and choking coming from him inside the washroom.

Chanyeol wasn’t fond of recalling how worried and distraught Kyungsoo had been when he caught Chanyeol during one of his coughing fits. Chanyeol was worried that this would repeat itself but he was wrong.

 

“How long have you been standing here?” Chanyeol had to ask, closing the door to the washroom slowly, almost as if he was dragging the entire thing out.

“I wasn’t counting. A while maybe,” Kyungsoo replied, seemingly rather uninterested in the conversation they were having. Kyungsoo didn’t look up from his book towards Chanyeol at all.

“Oh, have you been reading the entire time?” Chanyeol muttered, hiding the fact that he was a bit bothered by Kyungsoo’s display of nonchalance. He knew Kyungsoo heard him for sure but the latter didn’t even seem to care or even address it, not unlike the last time it had happened.

“Yeah, obviously,” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, “What is it do you want? More blood?”

“No, not at all. I just wanted to ask,” Chanyeol was defensive.

“Fine,” Kyungsoo shrugged a shoulder, returning back to his book and not making any obvious effort to even ask something or keep a conversation going either.

 

 

Chanyeol returned to his study after that, padding away softly and feeling quite intimidated by Kyungsoo if he was to be honest.

As Chanyeol placed the almost fully formed camellia from his pocket and into the small wooden box he had been using to keep the progress of his disease, he pondered on the last month or so.

Chanyeol wasn't blind or stupid to notice that Kyungsoo was distancing himself further from Chanyeol by the day. In fact, today seemed to affirm everything he had been suspecting about Kyungsoo in the past month.  
  
Chanyeol was pretty certain that Kyungsoo found out about something that he was trying to hide from the latter; be it about his identity or be it about the circumstances of how they came to be "married" to each other. He just didn't know the extent of how much Kyungsoo was aware of the situation.  
  
  
  
It wasn't really surprising to Chanyeol and he knew he was largely at fault but it still hurt him, nonetheless. Even if he felt like a hypocrite to even say that his feelings were hurt. Chanyeol didn't see himself as a victim but as a perpetrator who was now paying for his sins.  
  
Chanyeol knew his feelings were real, that being the only thing magic couldn't create. He was aware and realized how much he loved and wanted to be with Kyungsoo.  
  
With his life slowly withering away, Chanyeol wanted to live out his final days beside Kyungsoo. Even if Kyungsoo was giving him the cold shoulder and suspected him now, Chanyeol had decided that his place was right here beside Kyungsoo until the end, even if it had come to him by force.

 

 

 

**

                             

 

 

On a snowy Sunday morning at their home in mid-February, Chanyeol was sitting on the couch in the living room, with a warm blanket draped over his legs while a fire nymph kept the hearth warm and burning. Kyungsoo had basically ignored Chanyeol's request to let the nymph into the house but he wasn't too bothered to care about that now.  
  
It was the couch that faced a window with the view of the gardens outside. It was winter but Kyungsoo never failed to keep his garden alive and thriving with plants and flowers appropriate for the season. Now, in the winter, it was red Japanese camellias, much like the ones growing in Chanyeol's lungs.  
  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo entered the house shortly later, returning from the gardens after tending to his flowers, even in the snow.  
  
"Hey," Chanyeol greeted, nodding his head slightly at Kyungsoo.  
  
"Hey," Kyungsoo repeated in return, hanging up his coat on the hook and then taking off his snow-stained shoes at the doorway.  
  
"What are you up to now?" Chanyeol asked from the couch at Kyungsoo across the room from him, attempting to make small talk to keep a conversation going, something he was accustomed to doing in the past few months since Kyungsoo found out about the truth of his identity.  
  
"-nothing," Kyungsoo replied, taking off his gloves now, "I think I'll read, maybe."  
  
"Do you want to come and sit with me here for a while?" Chanyeol suggested, patting the empty space on the couch beside him, "It's been a while since we did something together."  
  
"You mean just sitting and staring at the wall while I waste my time?" Kyungsoo dryly chuckled, throwing his gloves onto a console desk, almost as if he was very visibly annoyed at Chanyeol's proposition.  
  
  
  
  
Chanyeol was hurt by Kyungsoo's sharp response and dismissal but he was used to it, even expecting it sometimes. He couldn't say he was disappointed anymore at this point.  
  
Chanyeol didn't dare to say anything further or insist that Kyungsoo spend time with him, even if it were the last few weeks of his life. He had dragged Kyungsoo into his life by force and without the latter's consent. This was the reality of his actions, which Chanyeol had to face.  
  
  
Keeping his head down, Chanyeol played around with the wedding band on his left ring finger, when he felt the couch shift beside him by the weight of someone sitting down on it.  
  
Chanyeol almost smiled and his heart jumped a little to see Kyungsoo settling down on the couch beside him, staring out at the soft falling snow and the garden in view outside the window. Kyungsoo turned down the offer to come under the blanket with him but Chanyeol was satisfied enough.

  
  
"What are you up to?" Kyungsoo spoke up first, being the one to start the conversation now.  
  
"-not much, just resting and sitting around," Chanyeol replied, looking to Kyungsoo at his side and then towards the floor, diverting his gaze quickly as he continued to restlessly play with the wedding band on his finger, admittedly a bit nervous as his fingers clutched onto the material of the blanket.  
  
"Oh, okay," Kyungsoo replied, leaning back against the couch, trying to relax but still coming off as rather tense.  
  
Chanyeol didn't know what else to say either and chose to withhold his silence.  
  
  
  
  
There was a short moment of silence between them where nothing was said. Chanyeol grasped onto the blankets unconsciously, as if it was his only anchor to keep himself from bursting because of all the emotions he was feeling.  
  
Kyungsoo had a hand propped up beneath his chin and he was shaking his leg, faster as the seconds passed by them.  
  
  
  
The air was heavy; the silence between them was akin to tension. There was obviously something that had to be talked about but nothing was coming from Kyungsoo or Chanyeol at the time.  
  
The only sounds that were heard was that of the fire nymph taking care of the hearth in the fireplace, making sure it was burning and radiating heat properly. Kyungsoo's feet could be heard tapping against the floorboards as his feet continued to shake. Occasionally, Chanyeol would cough a little, sputtering, but that was it.  
  
The soft, sticky snow falling outside dampened all the ambient noise, muffling the atmosphere even in the warm confines of their home.  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo shifted while sitting on the couch, visibly uncomfortable but acting it off. Chanyeol almost flinched when Kyungsoo moved, not even sure what he was afraid of. But he did manage to regain his composure before Kyungsoo noticed it, or maybe Kyungsoo did but just wasn't addressing it.  
  
"So...," Kyungsoo cleared his throat, only pretending because he didn't need to, "-are we opening the shop on Monday?"  
  
"-yeah, if nothing urgent comes up," Chanyeol answered after a slight pause.  
  
"Alright," Kyungsoo responded, nodding his head a bit and continuing to fix his gaze towards the view of his garden through the window. Even in the snow and with the occasionally chilly winds, magical barriers protected his flowers from the extremes of nature, appearing like a light golden and transparent dome above his garden beds.  
  
After some more silence with the rift between them still prominently there, Chanyeol gulped and dared himself to ask, "Did you want to ask about something else?"  
  
"Yeah," Kyungsoo paused, "I do."  
  
"Sure, what is it?" Chanyeol hastily added, wanting to get it over with as soon as possible.  
  
"I-," Kyungsoo stopped, still unable to look at Chanyeol at the other end of the couch from him, before finally being able to continue his sentence, "I want to know...who I really am. Who was I, Chanyeol? Who was I before I became your 'husband'?"  
  
"How much do you know?" Chanyeol questioned, glancing over at Kyungsoo slightly before looking out towards the window instead of gazing back at his feet or the floors.  
  
"-to be honest, I have the general idea of it so far but not the small details like my birthday, my hobbies, my favorite season or even my favorite color," Kyungsoo revealed, "I know my name is Kyungsoo and that I'm a sorcerer who survived through the war and genocide against magicians from the 19th century. I know that I used to work in a florist owned by a lady named Jihyun just a few blocks from your antique shop. But that's it. When I woke up, I found myself already married to you and all these memories I had which you said were true, don't seem very real to me. The memories I have are like a story in a book I read and remembered. I remember them and felt like I experienced it as an observer but I know they're not real for sure. Really, who am I, Chanyeol? I'm not blaming you for anything. I just want to know."  
  
"I don't know," Chanyeol truthfully answered, "I know you are a sorcerer, I know that you worked at the florist’s but I never knew the owner's name was Jihyun either. I knew your name but I didn't know your past, your origins or who you really were. You did try to talk to me and make friends when you moved into the neighborhood a few years ago but I never accepted your advances. I'm sorry, Kyungsoo. I wish I could answer you but I can't because I don't know anything."  
  
Kyungsoo snickered dryly, pressing half of his hand to his face, "So, you're actually the telling truth for once. Out of everything I thought I'd feel when I hear you finally tell me the truth honestly, I didn't expect to feel disappointed like this."  
  
"I am sorry. I don't have the answers you want," Chanyeol apologized again.  
  
"So, where do I have to go to find the answers?" Kyungsoo turned to look at Chanyeol, smiling but yet so forlorn.  
  
"I think Baekhyun and Jongdae might know. I know that you were acquainted with them but I'm not sure how close you were with the both of them," Chanyeol informed, "That's all I know. I wasn't close with them either. I just knew of them."  
  
"It's fine then," Kyungsoo sighed, brushing it off as he continued to chuckle at the irony of the situation, "I just...cannot believe this is happening to me." Kyungsoo bent forward at the waist, pressing two hands to cover his face as he began to tear up, "I was actually so happy with you. I wanted it to be real. I wanted you to have the answers at least even if it is fake. I was more disappointed that all of this is not real and that you barely even know me. I don't even care that you lied."  
  
"I am happy with you too!" Chanyeol declared, lurching towards Kyungsoo from the other end of the couch, grabbing the latter by the arm and pulling his hand away from his face, "I really and genuinely feel this way, Kyungsoo. I may not know you before this but I have come to really enjoy your company. There is not a second now that passes by where I don't think of you."  
  
Kyungsoo looked back at Chanyeol, blinking through red tear-stained eyes he didn't bother hiding anymore, gasping, "I don't know if I can do this anymore, Chanyeol."  
  
"Sometimes, it's alright to not know some things. Maybe this is for the better," Chanyeol tried to suggest, "-we magicians had a hard life and we've only been living in peaceful times recently, even at the cost of magical presence slowly dying out in this world. I know it is a lie for you to live like this, but you are happy, aren't you?"  
  
Kyungsoo nodded, holding back his tears and withholding from telling Chanyeol that Baekhyun had said something almost similar to him. Baekhyun also mentioned about Kyungsoo being unhappy and sad, claiming that Kyungsoo was the happiest he had ever been even while living this lie.  
  
"Then we can continue being together like this," Chanyeol was unable to stop the flow of tears falling from his eyes too, "Let's just forget the past and create a new life together where we're both happy. I have come to love you, Kyungsoo, and I don't want to lose you like I've lost everyone else I know. I've been alone for so long."  
  
  
  
  
Unable to say anything further, Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's shoulders, pulling Chanyeol into a tight embrace and letting his head to fall against his chest. Chanyeol sobbed, tugging onto Kyungsoo's shirt which was now slowly being drenched in his tears.  
  
"It's alright, it’s okay," Kyungsoo hushed, holding Chanyeol tight and reassuringly, "I'm here now. I’m not going anywhere."  
  
Chanyeol never cried as an adult; not when he lost his home, not when his fellow magicians were slaughtered left and right and not when he found himself struggling to just survive in a world that rejected him.  
  
But all the years of pent up loneliness and pain was coming out at that moment after he had been holding it in for so long. And Chanyeol felt like this was the right place and the right person to break down in front of.  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo was frustrated, distraught and lost but he couldn't hold it back either when he saw Chanyeol cry and pour out his emotions, stripping and laying himself vulnerable and bare for Kyungsoo. Not when other people were more in need than him, especially when it was Chanyeol whom he had come to care for so much.  
  
It was now when Kyungsoo began to remember and realize how he had ended up meddling in the darker arts of sorcery, which earned him the reputation of being a dark sorcerer. It wasn't for his own again, it was for others.  
  
Kyungsoo gave up his soul to the devil in exchange for magical prowess so he could protect and fight for the other magicians who were being massacred by the humans during the genocide. Even if it meant that when he died and was about to be buried, the earth would spit his body back out because of how tainted he had become.

 

Kyungsoo stuck by his word and he didn’t leave Chanyeol’s side for the rest of the day and the next, forgetting to even bother opening up the shop.

Kyungsoo allowed Chanyeol to lie down on his chest, to explore and kiss every inch of his bare skin and allowed Chanyeol to make to love him like it was their last time together.

  
With the Hanahaki disease making its progression and the side effects of the suppressant potions -that didn't seem to help much anymore- leaving him drowsy, Chanyeol wasn't able to stay awake for as long as he would like.  
  
Knowing his time left alive was slowly trickling away like sand running through the crevices between his fingers, Chanyeol would have wanted to be awake for as long as possible to live out his final days to the fullest.

But he was tired and soon fell asleep in Kyungsoo’s arms, probably for the last time before next spring.

 

 

Chanyeol slept throughout the rest of winter, longer than he usually would. His physical body wasn't so much tired when compared to his mental state, which was the one probably needing the rest the most.  
  
Kyungsoo kept the shop running while Chanyeol was asleep, catering to the needs of the clients and the regulars in place of Chanyeol. Kyungsoo didn't sleep himself, staying awake the entire time Chanyeol was asleep.  
  
  
  
  
When the shop was closed on Sunday or when it was nighttime in Seoul, Kyungsoo was at home, tending to the house and a sleeping Chanyeol.  
  
Chanyeol had been asleep for almost a month now, much longer than usual. Kyungsoo would caress Chanyeol's hair, pushing it out of his face as he slept, looking on rather fondly at his husband.  
  
Kyungsoo would also fluff up the pillows Chanyeol slept on, change the blankets every few days or so and made sure Chanyeol always slept on his back so his breath wouldn't stop as it tended to happen to him.  


 

  
  
On one afternoon in mid-March, Kyungsoo was checking up on a sleeping Chanyeol, when Chanyeol began to cough a bit in his sleep.  
  
Kyungsoo rolled Chanyeol over to his side so he could rub the latter's back, soothing his coughs. Chanyeol remained deeply asleep and did not stir once even from the coughs.  
  
When Chanyeol stopped coughing, Kyungsoo was rolling Chanyeol onto his back again when he noticed something red slipping from the slight part of Chanyeol's lips.

 

  
Out of curiosity, Kyungsoo pressed his fingers to Chanyeol's lips and pulled it away, finding a very mature red camellia slipping out of Chanyeol's mouth, much like the one growing in the gardens outside.  
  
The camellia was fully formed; its petals all in place and the crimson red color of it blended in with the blood stains on it.  
  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo knew what this was and what it meant. Chanyeol had the Hanahaki disease and Kyungsoo now had an explanation to the coughing and vomiting fits Chanyeol had been experiencing in the past year. It also explained the petals and incomplete flowers he had found in the small wooden box in Chanyeol's study.  
  
  
Kyungsoo was horrified not only at the revelation of the Hanahaki disease but about himself. The disease would only present itself because of unrequited love. Kyungsoo believed that Chanyeol loved him but if he had the disease then it only meant that Kyungsoo didn't love Chanyeol back at all.  
  
Kyungsoo never thought about his feelings for Chanyeol. He merely thought the affection and desire he had for Chanyeol was enough, mistaking it to be love. Except that it wasn't love at all. Kyungsoo only thought that he loved Chanyeol.  


  
  
  
Considering how much time had been since then and the size and maturity of the blood-stained camellia in his palm, Kyungsoo knew that Chanyeol didn't have much time left. At best, he probably had just over a month.  
  
In a fit of panic and fear of losing Chanyeol, Kyungsoo quickly got dressed and left the house in a hurry, running straight for the forests outside their home.  
  
  
  
Running in the dark woods in the last days of winter, despite not knowing where he was headed too, Kyungsoo desperately needed to find Baekhyun and Jongdae. He needed a definitive answer even if it would make him "unhappy" like Baekhyun said he would be once he discovered the truth.  
  
There was obviously a bigger reason as to why he could not love Chanyeol, even when he thought he did. There was something else holding Kyungsoo back and that was also slowly killing Chanyeol.  
  
  
  
  
  
As Kyungsoo was running through the forest, scraping his face and arms against the sharp branches and thorns of vines with nowhere to go in mind, he was hit by a sudden pain centered in the back of his eyes.  
  
Kyungsoo wailed, crouching to the ground as he clutched his hands over his closed eyes, throwing his glasses away and desperately wanting the pain to stop. There was no blood, no cuts, no swelling and no injury where his eyes were but yet Kyungsoo felt it excruciatingly.  
  
  
  
  
Behind his eyelids, even with his eyes shut, Kyungsoo was able to see. But what he saw was not the cold and dead forest around him.  
  
What he saw was the view of the park not far from his apartment and the florist shop he used to work in. In fact, Kyungsoo just knew that it was somewhere halfway between the two places.

  
  
Spring had not yet arrived in Seoul, at the moment, and the flowers were a month away from blooming but in this vision Kyungsoo saw, the pink blossoms were growing on the trees above, rustling in the wind and fluttering to the grounds like snow of pink petals.  
  
Kyungsoo now remembered that this was just before his memories were wiped out and that this was all Chanyeol's fault for attacking him out of nowhere.  
  
Kyungsoo now also remembered Chanyeol's face being the last thing he saw before he passed out for two months, only to wake up in Chanyeol's bed, already married to the said man and losing all his memories.  
  
As Chanyeol was dying and losing his powers by the day, Kyungsoo would be slowly regaining his memories when Chanyeol's magic gradually faded.  
  
  
  
Kyungsoo opened his eyes again, bloodshot, and feeling the utmost rage for what Chanyeol had done to him. Kyungsoo considered it as a violation of his rights as an individual and it didn't really take him long to figure out why he could never love Chanyeol, after all.  
  
Picking his glasses up from the moss-covered forest floor, Kyungsoo rose to his feet and wiped his glasses on his shirt. Kyungsoo slipped off the wedding band on his left ring finger, throwing it towards the forest floor, abandoning it there before he started walking with a destination now in mind.

He knew where to find Baekhyun and Jongdae now, the two people who were really his friends.

 

 

 

**

 

 

  
Chanyeol woke up on the first day of spring and walked around his room and the house to find that Kyungsoo was nowhere to be seen.  
  
However, the nymphs and brownie fairies were still around to tend to the chores during Kyungsoo's absence. The garden was prim and recently tended to. The fire in the hearth was no longer burning but it was still warm and embers still glowed in the pit.  
  
The nymphs and helper fairies would usually leave shortly once the sorcerer who summoned them was gone too. But upon seeing this, Chanyeol didn't believe that Kyungsoo had really left him, which he had been afraid of when he woke up alone.  
  
  
To affirm this, Chanyeol too checked up on the shop and found it empty. There was a sign hung on the door, stating the shop was closed since yesterday and until further notice. Seeing this, Chanyeol figured out that Kyungsoo had gone somewhere and had only been gone since yesterday.

The coughs were even worse now and it pained Chanyeol to even breathe normally. The Camellia flowers he threw up could even rival the ones growing outside, rich and abundant in Kyungsoo's garden.  
  
Knowing this was his last season to be alive; Chanyeol didn't waste any more time before setting out to do what he had been intending for all along.

 

 

  
  
It hadn't even been a full day since Chanyeol woke up from his month's long sleep. Kyungsoo hadn't even come home yet but Chanyeol was going to defeat Gremory once and for all.  
  
Chanyeol still had some of Kyungsoo's blood in a vial and took that along with him and some magical runes for specific summons, which he stored in a messenger bag that he would be traveling with. He was going to walk into the battle well prepared this time, unlike when he had previously lost against Gremory.  
  
  
  
  
Once he was fully dressed and ready, Chanyeol left the empty house and set out for Gremory's hideout.  
  
Everything Chanyeol had done and all the pain he had to suffer was for this sole purpose. Chanyeol expected that at the end of this and when he finally got to go home, Kyungsoo would be there waiting for and welcoming him in their warm abode.  
  
And then he planned to finally tell it all, wanting to die in Kyungsoo's arms as his last selfish wish, even if revealing the truth would make Kyungsoo hate him.  
  
  
  
  
Before he left, Chanyeol wrote a note saying where he was and what he was about to do, leaving it somewhere he knew Kyungsoo would see once he got home.  
  
Then, Chanyeol set out for the Arrochar Alps in Scotland, hundreds of miles away, where Gremory lived by himself in an abandoned castle tower. Like almost all magicians alive in the present day, they preferred to live far away and isolated from others.  
  
With modern forms of transport, it didn't even take a day for Chanyeol to arrive at the castle tower, where the dark magician Gremory lived.

 

 

  
  
Kyungsoo only returned from the forests of Gangneung- after visiting Baekhyun and Jongdae in their home again- just hours after Chanyeol had left for the Arrochar Alps.  
  
Kyungsoo had been in frequent contact with Baekhyun and Jongdae after he had regained the memories of his past and the small details which clued him in on his real identity.  
  
Kyungsoo had informed Baekhyun and Jongdae of Chanyeol's Hanahaki disease and while Kyungsoo was mad at him, he didn't really want Chanyeol to die like that either. It had always been Kyungsoo's- or rather Camellia's- job to protect and save magicians in whatever ways way he could, no matter who they were.  
  
In fact, Kyungsoo had been hoping that he could find a way to help Chanyeol out of this because it seemed that he wasn't going to be able to realize how he really felt about Chanyeol with so little time left.

 

 

  
  
**

 

 

  
  
The season was already spring but at the castle tower high up in the mountains in Scotland, it was still snowing and the mountains remained snow-capped for the time being. Spring hadn't really arrived here yet, even though the calendar date said otherwise.  
  
Outside the castle tower in the valley on the mountain, was a clear, glistening icy blue lake or as the locals called it- loch.  
  
For a change from the usual cloudy and gloomy weather which accompanied the region, the sun shone brightly that day without many clouds in the sky, reflecting off the snow and off the still water in the lake

 

  
Gremory was his usual gloating self, cocky and confident as he faced Chanyeol, who had really been the one who came out from nowhere to intrude on his property.  
  
But Chanyeol was a different man this time, facing Gremory again for the first time in almost two years now. Maybe he had Gremory to thank and blame for Kyungsoo’s appearance in his life because if it weren’t for him, Chanyeol would have never even thought of dragging Kyungsoo into this whole charade.

The days Chanyeol had spent with Kyungsoo were certainly the best he had in his life but it also sealed the fate on his imminent death.

 

 

With the summons that was possible from blood magic and his almost two years spent on learning more spells to get stronger for this sole moment, Chanyeol won the battle by a close call, leaving Gremory’s badly mangled body to stain the white snow- blood red.

Chanyeol almost collapsed on his feet after the battle. He wasn’t heavily injured but he had put so much strain on himself when he was already weakened by the late stages of the fatal Hanahaki disease.

But Chanyeol kept going, dragging himself home if he had to. His end was drawing near but he simply refused to die, not until he got to be in Kyungsoo’s arms one final time.

 

 

 

 

At the end of the journey back home, Chanyeol had a car drop him off at the end of the small road which passed through between the plains and led up to their home with the beautiful garden outside. He arrived just minutes before sunrise when the dim sky was a medium blue color with tints of orange.

The non-magician human was puzzled as to why Chanyeol asked to be dropped off in front of a thick forest, as that was what it appeared to those without magical powers. He didn’t complain or ask about it because he was still getting paid anyway.

 

Just like the driver who had dropped him off, Chanyeol was also puzzled but for different reasons. Chanyeol found out that the empty plains stretching out from the vicinity of his house had instead been replaced with a field of camellia bushes, the same kind that was killing him.

Chanyeol had been gone for two days at most and while it was possible for all these flowers to grow there, it wasn’t something that happened overnight. Not unless some powerful magic was at play here.

But now, everywhere around him was covered by a sea of red from the Camellia, with a slight glimpse of dark green from the leaves of the bushes.

 

 

 

 With his messenger bag slung over his shoulder and hanging down his side, Chanyeol started walking on the small road between the field of camellias that would lead up to his house.

 The sun was slowly rising; lighting up the sky into a lighter shade of blue as a cool early spring breeze blew, swaying the camellia flowers along with its rhythm. The camellias emitted its own fragrant oil-like smell, strong and mimicking that of a jasmine flower, Chanyeol thought.

 

 

The path leading up to the house was slightly curved and climbed up a small incline. Because of this, Chanyeol wasn't able to see Kyungsoo standing there until he got close enough, from where he could see their house already, a bit further in the distance clearly.

It wasn't the sight of Kyungsoo that first got to Chanyeol. It was the horrible and pungent smell of burning hair from a person's scalp wafting through the air. The abundance of camellias around him had masked this strong horrid smell, which he was now close enough to discover.

 

 

It was no doubt, the smell of dark magic and particularly that of the dark magician, Camellia. It was the same scent Chanyeol had come across during the genocide from two centuries ago.

But the person standing right before him was Kyungsoo and Kyungsoo alone. It didn't take a magic master to figure it out and Chanyeol was struck with the surprising realization that the Kyungsoo standing in front of him was also the same magician who had been Camellia.

Chanyeol really didn't know who Kyungsoo was and the kind of mess he was putting himself into, after all.

 

 

 

Kyungsoo was standing a bit ahead of Chanyeol on the small road, with his back turned towards Chanyeol. Kyungsoo's head was tilted up, his gaze fixed towards the sky as the sun was rising above the horizon.

The spring breeze continued to blow, swaying Kyungsoo's dark hair and rustling through his white shirt as he closed his eyes to feel the rush of air on his face.

 

 

Hearing Chanyeol approach, Kyungsoo looked over his shoulder as his dark hair continued to dance in the wind. Kyungsoo was silent. His face was empty and expressionless.

 

Chanyeol remained frozen to the ground, gripping onto the strap of his messenger bag as Kyungsoo turned around to face him.

 

 

 

"Kyungsoo?" Chanyeol trailed off, his voice carried away by the wind.

"I guess that's what they call me too," Kyungsoo actually responded, much to Chanyeol's surprise.

"You...you remember now, don't you?" Chanyeol questioned, timidly.

"-everything," Kyungsoo answered, turning to look at the swaying camellias to his side and then back towards Chanyeol in front of him, "I found out about a month ago while you were still asleep."

"So you do know but you haven't left yet," Chanyeol stated, lowering his gaze and noticed that Kyungsoo was no longer wearing the wedding band on his left ring finger.

"Oh, I've just been continuing to play along," Kyungsoo replied, touching a camellia flower and smoothing his thumb over its petals, "I may be known as a dark magician but it is actually beneath me to attack a sleeping man who is also...dying."

 

 

 

Chanyeol was unable to respond and his breath was hitched in his throat, not just from the Hanahaki but from the thick tension and the ever-growing stench of burning hair. After all, who wouldn't be intimidated in the presence of Camellia? It made Gremory appear like a small pawn when compared to the monstrosity of Camellia.

 

And all these while, Kyungsoo- or rather Camellia- had been living under his roof and sleeping in his bed the entire time. Looking back, it was uttermost terrifying indeed.

 

 

 

"You know, you said my birthday is on the 29th of January. The actual date is the 12th of January, I remember now. You didn't get it too far off actually," Kyungsoo chuckled but dryly, still holding the soft camellia flower in his hand.

Chanyeol remained silent, still unable to say anything, tightening his grip ever harder onto his bag as he already came up with a plan to whip up the spell and necessary summon items inside if it really came down to that.

"Say, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo was the only one to speak, "It's spring now and the flowers are blooming. It's just like that day isn't it?"

"-which one?" Chanyeol muttered, finally able to conjure a response.

"Which one do you think I'm talking about?" Kyungsoo deadpanned, "That spring day in 1828 of course. That day when magicians like us were murdered just for being different, for something we were born with and had no say over. You were there on that day too, weren't you?"

"Yeah...," Chanyeol paused, "I was. I would never forget that."

"Hmm...," Kyungsoo hummed, "Did you think I was talking about the spring day from last year? The one where you attacked me, almost gouged my eyes out and made me play this husband role for you?"

Chanyeol froze, his breath stopped and he was unable to look away from Kyungsoo's heavy gaze.

"I remember that day now," Kyungsoo pressed a finger to his temple, "I only used friendly spirits against you because I didn't want to use the dark magic I'm used to. That's why I lost. I'm not very used to friendly spirits yet, you see. Now that we live in peaceful times, I didn't think I'd ever need dark magic anymore. But you though," Kyungsoo berated, "-you failed in a task and for the next two years, you continued to have a grudge against Gremory who wasn't even your enemy in the first place. You were just hired to stop him from disturbing some witch he was harassing but because you lost, you made it your personal agenda to stop him at all costs to save your ego. And I had to pay for your stupid, selfish wants!"

 

When Kyungsoo raised his voice, Chanyeol didn't hesitate to open his bag and pull out the vial of Kyungsoo's blood. He now felt very threatened by Kyungsoo.

"Using my blood against me?" Kyungsoo chastised, "That's not a good idea but who cares? You seem well enough to fight so you're fit to be my enemy now, Chanyeol."

 

 

 

Before Chanyeol could even attempt to use a spell or summon a creature with Kyungsoo's blood, Kyungsoo had kicked him hard in the chest with force made possible by magic, sending Chanyeol falling and stumbling towards the bed of flowers.

Chanyeol was just a few centimeters above the ground, about to fall onto his back when Kyungsoo caught him by pulling onto the collar of his shirt.

 

Smirking at Chanyeol below him, Kyungsoo tossed Chanyeol by the collar, throwing him even further down the field of camellia flowers.

Chanyeol got back onto his feet after he landed onto the bed of flowers. Quickly, Chanyeol smashed the glass vial in his hand to release Kyungsoo's blood even it meant cutting himself in the process.

 

 

 

 

With blood-stained hands, Chanyeol summoned Drosera, a massive pitcher plant-like creature with long thorny veins that whipped around to snap on its target before pulling in and swallowing them whole, killing the target with strong acidic juices and poison within its body.

The feeling of being eaten and digested by Drosera was akin to being burnt alive. The acid and poison would burn away at one's skin, melting one’s bones as every nerve ending flared to experience the utmost pain. It was also a slow process and the victim would be suffering for a while, with death being the best option and escape from it.

Such a summon was only made possible because of blood magic.

 

 

"Smart choice but that's not going to work," Kyungsoo criticized, successfully evading all of Drosera’s vines and lashes.

Kyungsoo summoned his specialty summon, Ziz, a colossal griffin-like bird; the same creature that had become famed in religious scriptures as a sky-dwelling beast. Only the strongest sorcerers were capable of a summon this level, just like how the strongest wizards could control nature enough to bring upon rains of fire from the sky.

 

 

Ziz began to claw away on Drosera, flying and circle above him as Chanyeol continued to hide behind his summon. The wingspan of Ziz was massive enough to block the sunlight over a large area on the bed of flowers.

 

Chanyeol attempted to evade Ziz and flee when Kyungsoo saw him escaping. Before Chanyeol could run, Kyungsoo had conjured a lightning rod from his palms, hurling it towards a fleeing Chanyeol.

Chanyeol would have gotten away if he hadn't hesitated to look behind because his heart just wouldn't let him leave Kyungsoo just yet.

 

 

The lightning rod spell definitely struck Chanyeol and Kyungsoo was sure of that when Chanyeol's summon vanished. Injured and unfocused, a sorcerer's summon would disappear when they no longer had the concentration to maintain an active summon.

Seeing that, Kyungsoo too de-summoned Ziz as the beds of camellia flowers which had shortly became a battleground for two sorcerers once again became just what it was previously.

 

 

 

The air was still now and the scents of the flowers and the magic settled, lingering around without the wind to carry it away.

Chanyeol dropped to the earth onto his knees, clutching his bleeding chest as he coughed again. Chanyeol's blood was coming from the slash wound on his chest and from his mouth too, as he continued to regurgitate blood and camellia flowers onto the said bed of similar flowers too near his feet.

 

Kyungsoo walked over towards Chanyeol, brushing against the flowers as he strode over to the man who Kyungsoo had been calling his husband for the past year.

Chanyeol was throwing up the camellia flowers and his own blood onto his palms, still on his knees when he looked up to Kyungsoo standing in front of him.

 

 

There were blood stains and bits and pieces of a petal at the corner of Chanyeol's lips as he lifted his hands to show Kyungsoo the blood-stained camellias.

Sadly, Chanyeol smiled with his blood-stained teeth and mouth, "I love you, Kyungsoo. I really do and if you still don't believe that, I have this to prove to you. Even though this love is what will kill me, I was very happy with you. I wish I could have gotten to know you better under different circumstances. Not like this. But this was the best year of my life and thank you, Kyungsoo. Thank you for letting me die happy."

 

 

 

Kyungsoo tried to brave it but his emotions reigned over him. Kyungsoo too dropped to his knees, tearing up as he held onto Chanyeol, burying his face in Chanyeol's shoulder. Sure, Chanyeol was his enemy and that didn't absolve him of what he did, but it was still upsetting to let and watch Chanyeol die like this.

 Kyungsoo only became the way he was today for the sake others, to save and help other magicians. But yet, he couldn't help the one dying right in front of his eyes. Kyungsoo really didn't have the heart to let Chanyeol die.

 

 

Framing Chanyeol's face between his hands, Kyungsoo brought his lips towards Chanyeol's. Kyungsoo didn't care about the blood at all. He kissed Chanyeol, holding him close until they were almost breathless, even until Chanyeol went limp in his arms.

Then, as the wind blew again, bringing away the scent of burning pinewood, burning hair and camellias; Kyungsoo gently laid Chanyeol down on the bed of flowers and walked away down the path between the plains, heading away from the home Kyungsoo used to live in with the man he loved.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

 

When he woke up, the white was blinding everywhere. It took a minute of squinting and shutting his eyes back to adjust to the brightness.

Then, he was able to see again and Chanyeol found himself in his own room back in his own house. Everything was right where it was supposed to be. Nothing was off about this.

 

 

The curtains were drawn and it was bright outside but Chanyeol didn't know how long had passed exactly since then; since his altercation with Kyungsoo.

Chanyeol thought he had died but it didn't seem like that now. His chest still hurt and there were still bandages on his hand and abdomen. The most obvious thing was how breathing felt normal and just fine. There was no more prickling sensation of flowers growing in his lungs.

It was as if Chanyeol had been cured of the Hanahaki disease but he found it hard to believe that.

 

 

Chanyeol heard the distinct voices of two people talking outside his room and before he could even guess who they were, the door to his room opened to reveal Baekhyun and Jongdae.

“You’re awake, finally,” Jongdae threw his hands up, looking towards Baekhyun.

“Well, good morning,” Baekhyun greeted, making his way into Chanyeol’s room, “When did you get up?’

“How did you two get in my house?” Chanyeol asked, ignoring the question directed towards him.

“Well, we found you outside lying unconscious in the flowers so we brought you inside and healed your injuries,” Baekhyun answered.

“Wait-” Chanyeol was confused, “Where’s Kyungsoo? How long has it been since then?”

“Three days,” Jongdae answered, putting his hands on his hips.

“Kyungsoo was the one who called us here to take care of you, actually,” Baekhyun informed, standing with Jongdae near the bed, “He left after we got here and we don’t know where he went. We’re only doing this for him, you know. ”

 

Clutching a hand to his heart, Chanyeol recalled the incident and questioned, “How am I still alive? I had the Hanahaki disease. I am supposed to be dead anytime now.”

 “Maybe you’ll die today then,” Jongdae sassed.

 “-dae,” Baekhyun reprimanded, shaking his head.

 “Well, he’s been a nuisance to us if you forgot. If it weren’t for Kyungsoo, I wouldn’t even be here,” Jongdae remarked.

 “I know and I haven’t forgotten that,” Baekhyun nodded slightly before returning his attention back at Chanyeol, “You’re not dying now. He’s joking. You’re fine.”

 “-but how?” Chanyeol remained confused.

 “Because your feelings have been requited of course,” Jongdae rolled his eyes, “It’s not that difficult.”

 “Oh,” Chanyeol gasped, unsure if he was supposed to be happy or otherwise.

 

 

     

 

 

 

**

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun and Jongdae stayed over with Chanyeol for another week, only leaving when they were sure that Chanyeol was able to move around by himself.

At the end of their stay, Chanyeol maybe understood why they were good friends with Kyungsoo. Although, Baekhyun and Jongdae made sure to emphasize that they were only doing him a favor because of Kyungsoo.

 

 

Kyungsoo did not return and was unheard of, even by his close friends, Baekhyun and Jongdae. Chanyeol did not set out to look for him either. He had robbed Kyungsoo from his life and now that he was out there being who he really was, Chanyeol was not going to ruin that anytime.

 

 

 

Chanyeol carried on with his life alone, working in the antique shop and explaining to Mrs. Bae that Kyungsoo had “resigned”. Business was terrible as usual and fewer people believed in magic as the time passed by but Chanyeol learned that it was his attitude that needed to change.

If Kyungsoo, who had lived through hard times and had experienced the genocide on the frontlines, could be a cheerful and outgoing person despite that, then Chanyeol had to do better.

 

Chanyeol made friends with the other shop owners around his business, even Jihyun the florist. He smiled more and talked to the customers, genuinely asking them about their day and listening to their problems. So it wasn’t really a surprise when his business started growing and he started getting more customers, even if wasn’t really much to talk about. 

Chanyeol too attempted to make friends with Baekhyun and Jongdae, who took more time to warm up to and accept him, although they did become friends eventually.

 

 

 

Back at home, Chanyeol continued to care for the flowers that grew outside his home, a memento left behind to him by Kyungsoo. There were now many nymphs that roamed the gardens and plains outside the house. Chanyeol allowed the nymphs to live there and make it their own home, in exchange for taking care of the flowers.

 

Chanyeol learned to cook by himself, with some help from the brownie fairies, of course. He tried making the same good food Kyungsoo used to make for him and although he didn’t come close to replicating Kyungsoo’s cooking, Chanyeol made sure that was fed and ate regularly.

 

 

Every day, he would have a fresh vase of camellias on his counter at the shop and on a table in his home.

Chanyeol no longer hated the camellia flowers. He realized now that it was indeed a symbolic icon among magicians which he had to embrace too.

But it wasn’t just that because the camellias made him feel like Kyungsoo was right there beside him.

 

 

 

 

Exactly a year later, in the next spring, Chanyeol was waking up after sleeping for almost a week long. Chanyeol found himself lying on his back even though he was sure he had gone to sleep lying on his side. He knew he wasn’t the type to move in his sleep but it still did come off as rather odd to him.

Chanyeol rolled over to his side on the bed, with his eyes still half-closed and drowsy, when he felt himself bump into the soft and warm back of someone else.

 

 

Startled, Chanyeol’s eyes shot open and he found the sleeping figure of someone under the blanket with him, sleeping on what was Kyungsoo’s side of the bed.

Chanyeol sat up on the bed and looked. It was really Kyungsoo, soundly and fast asleep.

 

Kyungsoo groaned a bit and stirred from his sleep after being rammed in the back by Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo yawned, rubbing his eyes with his left hand, where Chanyeol now saw the wedding band again on Kyungsoo’s ring finger. Chanyeol, himself, had kept wearing the wedding band even after Kyungsoo had left.

 

 

“Kyungsoo..,” Chanyeol’s voice dropped in surprise.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo greeted, smiling a bit as he continued lying down on the bed.

“You’re back,” Chanyeol smiled, running his hand down the sides of Kyungsoo’s cheek as light poured in through the sheer curtains hanging on the window.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo said, “I did promise you I’m not going anywhere. I’m keeping that promise.”

“I know,” Chanyeol replied, almost bursting in tears of relief, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Red Japanese camellias are an integral symbol in this fic. In the Japanese flower language, the red camellia has two meanings; "In love" and "perishing with grace". In several ways, these two meanings both represent Chanyeol and Kyungsoo.
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